Ginger takes the cords of the mailbag and sits down with Dylan and a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE as they answer listener questions for the 29th Gang Bang the Mailbag! The Swinger Doc also sits down for another edition of the Medical Mailbag! In this mailbag he answers a listener question on risks associated with hot tub sex!
Questions in this Gang Bang the Mailbag include:
My husband and I opened our relationship about a year ago, and have both developed deep connections with other partners but haven't dipped our toes into the swinging side of things. I now have a few fun potential opportunities on the horizon to do just that. Here's the thing. I'm positive for HSV-1, and I'm one of the lucky ones who acquired it genitally. I'm responsible, educated, and up-front, but I'm feeling very anxious about it in the context of these more casual opportunities. I've already dealt with slut-shaming and with ignorant and poisonous reactions to my status. Would I even be allowed to participate at something like a play party, an orgy, or Desire? If so, what are the expectations and etiquette?
So, I have an average cock. I mean around the 50th percentile both erect and flaccid. That also makes me a grower, not a show-er. I should be OK with that. But I'm not. Hard for this sex-positive guy to admit I’m troubled by this. I really enjoy going nude in public - at appropriate places, of course. However, I have observed without fail, I'm the absolute smallest I see. I went to a clothing optional resort this weekend to work on my tan and wherever I looked EVERYONE was hung better than me - and most by a huge (pun intended) amount. The little guy tends to “turtle” and this does not help my confidence.
Is it that swinger and nudist men tend to be on the larger side by self-selection? Are we of more modest endowment simply ashamed and less inclined to participate in those activities? I enjoy swinging and have never been (knowingly) penis shamed by others. I still can't keep the penis envy in the box. Let’s hear about your experiences and observations along with some words of wisdom to us "nominally-endowed" and "turtling-inclined" men.
My wife and I are in contact with another couple through the 3nder (now Feeld) app and are considering setting up a date with them. We have been having some great group conversations via text and have become more and more interested in them. The other night the couple nonchalantly mentioned that they have a newborn. Only 4 weeks old! Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. Their profile suggests that they are into most any type of play. The elephant in the room is what condition is her body in for play?? They specifically joined the app to find her a girl to play with but are also interested in couples they say. We are assuming she is producing milk and probably still healing from the birth. How can we be respectful in asking these questions and keep her from being self conscious? What other questions should we ask in this situation? Any advice from you "seasoned" swingers? :)
My partner and I are new to swinging and having, for the most part, a grand time. But, there is one trend we've noticed that we're interested in some clarification over: people having loud conversations about boring stuff in the play areas of sex clubs. My girlfriend (a petite, curvy 5'3" roller derby girl who I'm pretty sure is the "shawty" in all the songs and quite possibly the inspiration for "Baby Got Back") and I are exhibitionists and will be going at it and suddenly, I kid you not, a couple will come in, sit nearby, and start talking about work, traffic, doctor's appointments, blah blah blah, REALLY LOUD, thus annihilating our boners.
The people doing this seem like they're old hats at swinging, so we've got to know: is this a thing? What's going on? Is it acceptable to tell them to shut the hell up even though we're in a more public area, or are long time swingers just jaded with sex and loud boring chats two feet from people who are athletically fucking just a part of the scene?
My husband and I have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 2 years now but our experiences have been very limited so we are definitely still newbies. We would love to explore more and go to more events and stuff but it is difficult. We have 2 young children and live in a very rural area. Swinging parties that we've come across take place later in the evening and usually an hour plus drive for us. This then requires an overnight sitter.
Did we come into this lifestyle at a bad time? Seems others that have children usually have older children so they have flexibility in going out that we do not. It gets very frustrating but honestly not sure there is much to be done about it. Any tips or thoughts? Should we just give up on this whole swinger thing for now?
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You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!
Today's podcast featured music by:
Tokyo Machine - OKAY
Marshmello - Alone (Streex Remake)
