Recently, our own United States of America had a watershed moment. An injustice so deeply ingrained into what we've called society, what we've called family, what we've called "real and respectable” with one fell swoop, became righted as a matter of not just public policy, but as law.

The Supreme Court's decision on Obergefell v. Hodges granted marriage equality for all persons, and while the rest of the country's legal structure catches up to the new reality, we're seeing a vocal minority of polyamorous people... and a surprising amount of popular media address the possibility of multiple partner marriage… Poly marriage.

We welcome Cunning Minx back to the Swingset, where she and Dylan step on their soap boxes and bring up Justice Roberts’ dissent’s thoughts on a plural marriage slippery slope, Justice Kennedy’s majority opinion based on fundamental rights instead of the expected equal protection. We discuss what marriage is anyway and what it represents between us as people, us as the government, and us and our beliefs. We look at where polyamorous groupings and families are vulnerable and what marriage, or a set of contracts granting protection, or possibly an incorporation would do to protect them.

Also… we discuss why we’re in the “Reefer Madness” stage of the general public recognizing what polyamory is.

Some articles that might interest you since they informed our discussion (for better or worse… THANKS MEDIA):

http://thefederalist.com/2015/07/06/polyamory-is-bad-for-kids-polyamorists-and-society/#disqus_thread

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/07/case-against-polygamy/397823/?utm_source=SFFB

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/07/10/heres-why-people-are-arguing-over-whether-polygamy-is-the-next-gay-marriage-debate/

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2015/06/is_polygamy_next_after_gay_marriage_chief_justice_roberts_obergefell_dissent.html

We all go on dates. Maybe it's a play date with another sexy couple. Maybe it's a romantic getaway with a partner we only see every couple months. Maybe it's a night of taking off your clothes and cleaning someone's apartment for them while they watch you barely contain your excitement. We all date, and we all eventually have other relationships, people we're making a life with, other people we're fucking, maybe a daddy, and while what we're doing is ultimately our business, we still want to do right by and be right with the people we choose to call our people.

We discuss how hard it is to manage multiple relationships and that respecting multiple people simultaneously while developing new relationships takes skill, mindfulness, presence, and lots of communication of expectations, needs and considarations.

We've all been in situations that we were really... REALLY eager to be in.... then realize in the moment maybe we don't want to be in this particular situation but you like everyone involved and you don't want to spoil the mood, and you want to step back gracefully and disengage. We discuss learning how to get a handle on your own emotions both in the moment and after, we relay some of our strategies in communicating lack of enthusiasm for the act without accidentally conveying lack of enthusiasm for the person, and take care of some "business".

In the wake of both Fetlife and Adult Friend Finder getting their content and naughty secrets scraped and posted online, there has been a renewed discussion about secrecy and privacy in swinging & polyamory. Katie Mack joins us to discuss these topics and think about what it means to be secretive, how it relates to our own private closets and give you suggestions on maintaining your cone of privacy in the modern Internet age. Social networks, dating & swinging sites, privacy v. secrecy, photos, (more) secure payment methods, burner phones and email accounts are all on the table.

Here’s a Krebs on Security article on recent breaches. Here’s an article addressing the AdultFriendFinder breach.

Welcome to our 21^st Gang Bang the Mailbag! As always, if you want to ask a question via voicemail or text: 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464, or send us an email at contact@lifeontheswingset.comAs always we want to remind those of you at home to tweet along with us at #sspodcast

We address a “The Professor” callout from a listener on the definition of monogamy, a listener looking for advice on an MFM in Tokyo, large age differences between partners in swinging, a listener whose wife kind of wants out of non-monogamy, and the trials and tribulations of being with a partner who has two left sexual feet.

Cooper also throws out there that a great name for a new band would be Suburbanesque World of Heteronormative Privilege.

Also from Dylan:

OH GOD IT WAS Q-TIP!

CANADA, YOU DID THIS TO ME

Believe it or not, our voicemail gang bang overflowed and we were left with extra voicemails. With that in mind, we've collected some listener emails to do our twentieth mailbag gangbang! As always, if you want to ask a question via voicemail or text: 573-55-SWING, that's 573-557-9464, or send us an email at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. All questions have been edited to fit in the space allowed.

We discuss meeting opposite partners before private dates, expectations and consent, making the first move at clubs, soft swapping with single males and solidifying rules as newbies as well as getting over boundary violations.

Holy Shit Shira B. Katz is here! … and she’s causing trouble! … and she starts a wonderful conversation with Ginger about mindfulness! ….and she asks what we’ve been doing with our lives and we update her with an episode almost entirely about “our business” which included the introduction of the term relationship anarchy.

It was a pleasure and we hope it happens again. J

…also “dumping with Dylan” may become a thing now. And I guess “Just the Tip with Dylan Thomas”.

Maybe.

Whatever.

We reference Headspace (the website that apparently treats your head right) and Dr. Dan Siegel’s book Mindsight. 

Adult film star, author, sex educator, outspoken feminist and advocate for sexual acceptance Nina Hartley joins and honors us with a conversation on the Swingset.

Nina was a pioneer of sex positivity before sex positivity was a thing. A prolific performer, an outspoken feminist and an advocate for sexual acceptance (as a board member of the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Alliance), Nina is the sexual freedom fighter we all admire. We are deeply honored to welcome her onto the Swingset.

After Nina leaves, Dylan responds to an email we received regarding our latest Bedcast by both acknowledging our own failings and by shining light on the absurdity of claiming lack of responsibility through silence and complacency.

Vacations. Aren't they great? But you know what's better? SEXY VACATIONS. The kind where you can be naked and flirt all day and have sex all night. Or maybe you decide on an afternoon delight. Of course, on vacation, you have time for all of the above! For those who've never been on a sexy vacation, they can also be intimidating and scary. For our ninth Swinging for Dummies episode we, enthusiastic advocates of the sexy vacation, share what we have learned so that your next sexy vacation is everything you want it to be and more. That's tonight on Life on the Swingset the podcast.

Tonight's episode is sponsored by our good friends at Gamelink.com, which is where you should be going for your porn!

Adult film star and filmmaker jessica drake has seen the porn industry through some of its most radical and affecting changes, and has moved herself from star to writer to educator with her jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex Series. Tonight she's joining us to discuss this evolution of an industry. We chat about how the industry deals with the double edged sword of the Internet, the difference between porn as entertainment and porn as education, cyber bullying, and we giggled about sitting on the floor crosslegged.