Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast (swingset)

Ginger BenthamCooper S. Beckett, and Dylan Thomas return to Desire Resort & Spa for Swingset’s second full resort takeover and for their sixth annual pilgrimage to the sexiest place on earth. While the tequila flows, they take time to examine why pleasure, gratitude, compassion, and love are supremely important, and they take time to defiantly and emphatically restate the values of the Swingset.

Join us at the sexiest place on earth at Desire Resorts in the Riviera Maya, Cancun, Mexico, from November 3rd through November 10th, 2018! Head to ssdesire.com for more information!

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

 

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

 

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

 

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

 

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

 

You can now pre-order Cooper’s novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

 

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Cooper S Beckett
Direct download: swingset306.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:34am CST

We’ve all spent a big chunks of our your lives trying to transform relationships from “kind of okay” into “good”. Most of us wait to have big conversations about what our relationships will look like until, well, long after they’re already a problem, but what if we could, instead, do that work early instead of just assuming that everyone is playing by the same guidelines? Dr. NerdLove joins the Swingset panel of Dr. Liz, Dirty Lola, and Mike Joseph to discuss designing your perfect relationships, talking about how to get what we all want, in advance!

You can find Harris O’Malley (AKA Dr. NerdLove) at his website, www.doctornerdlove.com and at his Youtube channel!

 

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper’s novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

Dr. Liz Powell
Direct download: swingset305.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:34am CST

Attraction. Chemistry, Urges. Biting our lower lip. Pants Feelings. *grunt* Join Dirty Lola, Mike Joseph, Mister Pent, and Dylan Thomas as they welcome back Bex from The Dildorks as they all talk about what turns them on!

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Direct download: swingset304.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:58pm CST

We've answered the same question a lot lately: How do single men navigate the lifestyle? We've rightfully mentioned the mountain most single men must climb to be successful, In discussing how to raise everyone's game we focused on the fact that many single cis straight men ruin it for everyone as they're everywhere and generally not well behaved. In describing them we used a phrase coined by Madeleine Holden to describe it: "Dick is Abundant & Low Value". Alana Massey expanded on that thought and wrote The Dickonomics of Tinder, a comprehensive treatise on the low expectations game,

Bex Caputo joins Dirty Lola, Mike Joseph, Mister Pent, and Dylan Thomas to discuss how the phrase came into use, why it's useful, and the implications of its use.

While we spoke, we mentioned Billy Procida by reputation. Dylan decided to mention him by name and reference both his blog, "You're Not An Ally, You're An Asshole" and a Storify of people who've been negatively affected by interactions.

 

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Direct download: swingset303.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:08pm CST

Sometimes we lose sight of some of the people and some of the things that matter in ourlives. Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, and Dylan Thomas get together and figure out how to recognize it, how it happens, and how to pull everything back together.

Dr. Liz also takes some time to relay some con business while Dylan mentions his newly unlocked "double flogging" achievement.

 

Dr. Liz mentions the Sinha Intensive/Expansive Framework, developed by Leela Sinha, M. Div. You can find Your Not Too Much: Intensive Lives in an Expansive World on Amazon.

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Dr. Liz Powell
Direct download: swingset302.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:07pm CST

Tonight, Madam Fierce joins the Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, and Dylan to re-open the mailbag once again to give it the gang bang it deserves. The crew answers questions on the difference between swinging and polyamory, breaking up with another swing couple, swinging with too much enthusiasm, single male swingers, and first time swinging hiccups.

 

Question 1:

Hi guys, this is to all of you, though maybe first to Dylan, who seems to particularly enjoy contemplating these things.

I have been been listening to your podcasts since 2011, and have enjoyed the entire run.

What I have been struggling with intellectually is what differentiates swinging from polyamory. My wife and I have recently had acouples' experience which I think has cleared this up, at least for me. I am the introspective one in the relationship (she tends act quickly based on gut feelings of comfort, and chuckles at my additional ruminating), so this is really from the Mr.

We've been pretty successful with swinging / casual hookups, though Two things have happened recently that have changed things a bit.

First, my wife has maintained an online friendship with a single man since last spring, which I whole heartedly support, she's making plans to see him soon.

Secondly, we recently met a couple where I quickly developed a strong emotional connection with the wife. My wife has enjoyed the husband's company, but clearly isn't interested in anything more than casual. My wife supports my exploring this.

So, then, how to define what it is that we seem to be getting into? We areboth (probably) trying out hall passes, meeting folks one on one before the other has met them, and acknowledging at least one developing emotional connection with someone outside our relationship.

 

Question 2:

I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.

The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away.

We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.

Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.

Now the question:
How do you break up with a couple?

 

Question 3:

I'm a 39-yr old woman & new to all of this although I've been very much wanting to explore my bisexual & naughty sides for quite some time…, got a new boyfriend, he's 32, bisexual & we've been together for 1 month, already practically living together & saying the "L" word.

He's experienced in the swinging lifestyle (although it's been awhile) & is thrilled that I'm wanting/willing to try some new things with him. We've made a couples profile on 3 different sites & had 1 threesome already.

The problem is, I'm wanting to take it slow when it comes to women & couples ~ need to find the right person that I feel comfortable with and trust (to kinda get me past that nervousness hump) & he's all gung-ho about meeting people ASAP & making things happen, to the point of fiendish obsession (from my point of view, anyway). He's constantly on swinger sites, viewing profiles, suggesting potential action to me, and I'm rather picky, especially if I finally break into girl-on-girl play.

It's made me feel insecure, especially now that he's done most of the negotiation and now has started deleting messages, so I said something about it. We talked, he agreed he was moving too fast, but now I fear that I'm being petty.

Is this venture between him & I doomed? I'm not 100% sure what my boundaries are and I know I can't be the only woman on the planet to have unwelcome territorial feelings & insecurities crop up when first starting out.

How can I overcome that? I really want to do this, and I want to do it with this man.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

Question 4:

Hi Swingset, love your Swinging for Beginning series and hope to hear more in the future.

My wife and I tried NonMonogamy. It went great for her, it was disasterous for me. We made some mistakes that culminated in us ending up in an unintentional cuckold arrangement.

I'm faced with moving through the swinger community as a single male and I'm not sure how. Single female swingers are few and far between and single men are plentiful and often faced with limited or expensive access to clubs and other spaces. The swinger community is pretty anti-single male, I have no clue how to survive being one. I'm segregated from the community I want to be a part of and I don't how how to proceed. Help!

 

Question 5:

We had our first experience at an on premise party last weekend. Our rules going in were no penetration, whatever we do it's together - constant touching of each other and at the first sign of discomfort we bail and regroup. The biggest insecurities both had was getting into a situation and being ignored.

Unfortunately, the hubby drank way too much! We met a nice couple we were both comfortable with and stuck a pin in them for later, we then met another couple we liked and took the action upstairs. We started playing together but the my hubby seemed disconneted. The original couple came upstairs and my hubby went off with the wife. The rest of the night we moved independently, hubby with other women, me with other men and women.

The party ended, we went back to our rooms and ended up with more activity in which I felt ignored. My hubby's been apologizing ever since, he feels horrible and can't explain his actions. I feel like I should have ended things the first moment I felt ignored but I didn't. We're both confused and aren't sure how to proceed. Should we go out again but watch the drinking? Should we both be more free to speak up?

 

Join Cooper and Dylan as they host a class on Bacchanalia Basics at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI on September 29th at 8:30PM!

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

Direct download: swingset301.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:59pm CST

Hello Swingset Fans!

We're taking a short break, episode 300 took an immense amount of effort to prepare: From recording -actually live- with an almost hundred person audience to publishing it via an audio and video podcast, to normal scheduling shenanigans... we think it's well deserved.

Cooper's going to take a short break from the Swingset, he deserves it, so we've manned the Swingset Battle Bridge, separated the saucer section, and made plans for the rest of the crew to carry on in the last hostile takeover of the Swingset ever.

While we'll look forward to his return, we've also released a little piece of Swingset history: a transcript of our first episode from 2010 titled "Dipping a Toe In - How to Start Swinging". You can find it at lifeontheswingset.com, just ... be gentle, we'd like to think we've grown since then.

In the meantime, thanks for swinging by, and see you next week.

 

Music:

"Studio" Steve Wallace's -Air Man, off the Mega Man 2 album.

Licensed under (CC BY-ND 3.0).

Direct download: 300.1.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:08pm CST

Life on the Swingset gets back together at the ski chalet, high atop Mt. Swingset, except it's August and the air conditioning is on. The chair lifts aren't active so Ginger, Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, Chris Pent, Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Dr. Liz Powell, and Katie Mack had to make their way up the old fashioned way, hand over hand. It's a special day, Life on the Swingset celebrates its 300th episode and does so with a live studio internet audience! Make sure you use #ss300 along with #sspodcast and tweet along as you listen!

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Rachel Lark joined us for our 300th episode with music from two of her albums!

Off the Vagenius album:

Off the They've Done Studies album:

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

 
Cooper S Beckett
Dr. Liz Powell

 

Direct download: swingset300.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:54pm CST

When people think of sex, they generally assume there's penile penetration, probably into a vagina, and that everything leading up to that penetration is foreplay. It's a very narrow view, but it's a view that stubbornly persists into non-monogamy.

Tonight, on our #roadto300, we consider this episode on foreplay as foreplay. Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Dylan Thomas, and Cooper S. Beckett get together to discuss foreplay and redefinition of what constitutes sex.

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Cooper S Beckett
Dr. Liz Powell
Direct download: swingset299.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:50pm CST

It is always risky, telling people what you're into, what you want, that you like them, but as we've found out it's often essential in getting anywhere in non-monogamy and in life. Tonight Dirty Lola, Cooper S. Beckett, Dr. Liz Powell, and Dylan Thomas discuss how to put yourself out there and how to take it when others do the same.

 

 

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

 

 

 

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

 

 

Cooper S Beckett
Dr. Liz Powell

 

Direct download: swingset298.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:53am CST