Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast

Not all of you have been listening weekly for three years (probably... maybe) so by extension, not all of you know how we got here and what we lived through before we discovered these lifestyles we lead.

So I'm Dylan, and I'm telling you my story, now. It's long, I spend the first ten minutes talking about pubescent erections but it all leads somewhere, and if you're interested... I'll take you on my little journey through the dark ages of my own sexuality and into my non-monogamy.

Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

Direct download: swingset99.1.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:32am CDT

After a slight delay, the Swingset crew talk Life on the Swingset's first trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancun and squick Shira B. Katz right the hell out. We lament the shortness of our jaunt to paradise, and talk about what we hope to do next time.

Direct download: swingset099.mp3
Category:SSDesire -- posted at: 12:27pm CDT

Clare from Smitten Kitten returns to discuss bad toys with us, and our toy wishes for the holiday as we discuss sex toys even more!

Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

Direct download: swingset098.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 4:02pm CDT

Hi everybody, it's the Life on the Swingset annual Toytacular event! We're in year three of recommending the best and most interesting toys we've played with, and laughing about the worst and worst designed toys we've suffered with.

We bring Claire from the Smitten Kitten Online into the conversation and riff on... oh, something like 40 or more toys.

Hop on and bring a pad of paper!


Check out the Smitten Kitten Online and use our discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!

Direct download: swingset097.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:41pm CDT

Parenting when you're a swinger or a polyamorist isn't easy is most definitely not a topic that's well documented. Luckily Airial Clark has been picking up the slack! She joins us for a conversation on how to be  a parent and straddle the line between too soon and not soon enough. We discuss the advantages and hurdles children may encounter when coming up against an aggressively monogamist society, and all in all, how to stay sex positive.


Check out the Smitten Kitten Online's Intimate Organics Aromatherapy Massage Oils. They're Dylan Thomas endorsed! (Don't forget the discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!)

Shira wants to point out the DTFH discussion with Dr. Christopher Ryan!

We also had Christopher Ryan on back on episode 27. Wow...

Direct download: swingset096.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:47pm CDT

Cooper, Ginger, and Dylan brought Marilyn, The Professor, Tonia, and 30+ couples with them to Desire in Cancun, Mexico! 18 months of foreplay result in good feelings, a little crying, lots of sexy time, and a terribly unstructured but incredibly fun to record podcasting session where we discuss introductions, making moves, saying no, and just being part of the flow.

This... is Life on the Swingset, recorded on-location, in paradise.

Check out the Smitten Kitten Online store! (Don't forget the discount code, "swingset" for a 10% discount!)

Direct download: swingset095.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:15pm CDT

When the Swingers are away the Katz will play!  

Shira B. Katz has taken over the Swingset, and has enlisted her husband of mythical proportions Gavin Katz.  The hosts of Pedestrian Polyamory (cheap plug) aren't necessarily talking about Polyamory this week, but their ventures into a Swinger party.  Comparisons are made between the two cultures, Shira wants to ride the Swing Train, and Gavin wants to hit her with one.  

Direct download: swingset094.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:03pm CDT

We're up for a second round of double penetration! That'd be double, double penetration.... Hmm...

Anyway, We're back with questions about what to do about party invitations when you have a couple that breaks up, bringing up the cultivation of poly relationships with swinger friends, long distance relationships, partners leaving the lifestyle and potentially their relationships, being and dealing with self-consciousness about cock performance and size, the "genderless", the difference between healthy and unhealthy swinger relationships, and...

Equality in freedom to explore.

We covered quite a bit of ground on this episode. Take a listen, strap on those thigh dildos, and gang-bang along with us!

Direct download: swingset093.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:36pm CDT

Today on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast, we take your questions and give you sweet, delicious, custard filled answers. We talk about metamores not getting along, reading your partners' e-mails, the struggle to decide whether to let a swing partner cum inside your partner, swinging with a cancer conquering sexy body, our horrible, horrible fetlife profiles, our opi... well ok we covered a lot today and we'll cover a lot next week as we run hot right up to the edge of our trip to Desire.

Direct download: swingset092.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:37pm CDT

Kendra Holliday joins us in a discussion on how to be open and sex positive while still staying friendly and approachable. Our discussion heats up when Dylan suggests that he misses Rick Santorum competing for the Republican presidential nomination because it was such a great opportunity to discuss sex positivity in comparison to the extreme positions Santorum took on... well everything from sex's role to women's health, and cools back down once we all figured out that we're all best served by having calm reasoned discussions with people we disagree with... Who knew?!

Check out the Talula G2 Dildo by Vamp Silicon at The Smitten Kitten!

Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset091.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:13am CDT

Two years ago a woman by the name of TBK visited us here on the Swingset to talk about her life, and her website, The Beautiful Kind. We heard back from her after she came out as Kendra Holliday and listened as she described the liberation of being out and the frustration of being under attack from all sides for her decision. Today she rejoins us and lets us know how she's progressed on her journey from a simple webmistress to a founder of Sex Positive St. Louis, as an activist, as a mother, and as a woman. 

Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset090.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:12pm CDT

A listener's story about the unreasonable request from a swing friend for the husband in a couple to impregnate her, leads us into a discussion about what is acceptable and not to ask of your partners in swinging & polyamory, and also what to do when the dreaded drama rears its ugly head.


Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset089.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 5:16pm CDT

Our good friends SFCuties asked us, "Is there a swinger version of PolySaturated, and what would it be called?"

We take on this challenge tonight, going through what it feels like to be polysaturated and smitten with what we call, "swing overload". Shira B. Katz regales us with tales of her time at Burning Man including good times at the indoor airconditioned sex dome, which then disintegrated into discussion about body odors in the context of orgies.


Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset088.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:05pm CDT

Direct download: swingset087.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:24am CDT

Amidst the endless bang bus, humiliation porn, and ass to mouth videos, one site stands out as something completely different:, featuring a gorgeous redhead named Camille Crimson giving slow, artistic, fun, and sexy blowjobs to her man. The Art of Blowjob is leading a charge toward a different landscape of porn with more beauty in it. PR and Marketing Director for The Art Of Blowjob, Sophie Delancey joins us to talk about the beautiful porn she manages, what she thinks about the future of porn, and to get some advice on climbing onto the swingset from us.


For those of you scrambling to write down the amazing collection of links Sophie gave us at the end of tonight's episode, here they are:

Sites: • • • • 

Twitter Handles
@SophieDelancey • @CamilleCrimson • @MikeFlirt • @LilyanneBloom • @MaxSauvage

Facebook Pages
Camille Crimson • LilyanneBloom

SophieDelancey • Camille Crimson • Pornographic Love


Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset086.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 4:07pm CDT

Foreplay... it's what we sometimes don't have time for, but apparently what we all desperately want more of! Whether it's giving, receiving, taking hours, or taking a few minutes, we take the time to discuss what we like, why we like it, what we do for other people and why we do for other people and figure out that sometimes all a situation can be -is- foreplay.

Ginger reveals her secret mutant ability, the stealthy surprise orgasm and Shira reveals she's only recently gotten into receiving foreplay.


Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset085.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:17pm CDT

We explore cultivating relationships from both the swinging perspective and polyamorous perspective. Ginger feels ready to get out there and meet some women to date. Cooper has an important (and easy) relationship discussion with his girlfriend about their involvement level and expanding his dating. Time is a very important factor, as is relationship structuring, but it can be hard going in with very low expectations. Google Calendar again emerges as the cornerstone of non-monogamy. Shira talks about how poly relationships interact with her family. We round it out with a discussion of time management, and how different swinging and poly are in the disclosure realm. 

Direct download: swingset084.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:09pm CDT

The Pick-up, we discuss vanilla pick-up culture briefly while moving into how to be picked up, how to message people online, and meeting people in real life. The concept of a codex, or a user manual (RTFM!) for potential hookups and dating partners to use comes up and we spend a lot of time figuring out what goes into it and what it actually means.

While we lose a Ginger this episode, we pick up a Cunning Minx and have a great time!


Minx's User Manual

Cunning Minx on Twitter

Polyamory Weekly

Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!


Direct download: swingset083.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:09pm CDT

We are joined by Ned & Maggie Mayhem, geeksexual porn stars who's mantra is to just be themselves in porn. We gush over them a while, Cooper admits their site is the first porn site he's ever paid for. The discussion leads to making porn, bringing toys into the bedroom, male use of the Hitachi Magic Wand, male bisexuality in porn, and identifying as queer.

Direct download: swingset082.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:25pm CDT

We finish our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, Dylan laments falling asleep, Cooper explains how The Brown Eyed Girl took them all out for a spin around town and how he learned to ask for what he wants, we break in the middle for a little discussion on companies who take public stances on issues, and we end with a farewell lunch on Monday with Pepper Mint.

Direct download: swingset081.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:44pm CDT

We continue our debrief from our experience at Open SF Non-Monogamy Conference. We discuss seminars we attended, including Charlie Glickman, Tristan Taormino, and the presentation we gave. Cooper gets a magic brownie and tries to pick up a Brown-Eyed Girl, and talks about how incredibly charming The Professor is. The gang goes on a San Francisco odyssey to find a hot-tub in the hills, and Dylan gets a girl.

Direct download: swingset080.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:11pm CDT

The gang begins their full debrief from the Open SF Non-Monogamy conference. Cooper experiences both Dom and sub play in a single night, and processes his feelings on Domination, humiliation, choking, as well as being flogged, spanked, and fondled. Dylan holds court and plays Cards Against Humanity with friends. Ginger and the Prof discover the fuck monster at the Pink Play Party. Shira brings a two boys to their first play party.

Direct download: swingset079.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:29pm CDT

The Swingset crew is drinking in bed together at the Open SF conference. For a good long while we giggle and talk of almost nothing. Dylan shamelessly flirts with the ladies. We move on to talking about Dom/sub play, and Cooper's fears getting into it. The discussion leads to relationship safe words and the Get Out of Jail Free Card in dealing with relationship conflict. We talk aftercare and then dig into Cooper's sex toy box while Dylan just wants to make out with Ginger's thigh.

Direct download: swingset078.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:19pm CDT

The Swingsetters are live in San Francisco at the Open SF Conference on non-monogamy to discuss Progressive Swinging, where swingers are gradually sliding down the spectrum toward long term relationships, and even !!GHASP!! love. We take questions from the audience and Cooper gets all riled up.

Direct download: swingset077.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:56am CDT

We return to the mailbag, still full after last week to discuss a number of jealousy related issues. A newly poly girl is uncomfortable with her husband dating his monogamous ex girlfriend, what is the difference between different flavors of non-monogamy, is jealousy healthy, does it show your partner that you care?

Direct download: swingset076.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:12am CDT

To celebrate our 75th episode we go back to gangbanging the mailbag for another listener question episode. We get excited that Shira's transient boy is staying in America and Cooper is narrating Tristan Taormino's radio show. Our ire is raised that the Catholic church is suing about birth control. Then our listeners ask us to talk about spanking, kinks to watch, revisiting oral sex to talk about cum, the girls talk about how much they enjoy watching men ejaculate, how to bounce back from a bad swinging experience, to drink or not to drink at clubs, one sided chemistry and interest, and primary partners growing apart.

Direct download: swingset075.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:38am CDT

Tristan Taormino returns to the Swingset to give Cooper some advice on NRE, discuss her new book The Ultimate Guide to Kink, and talk about her new project, a weekly live call-in radio show called Sex Out Loud on starting June 1st.

Direct download: swingset74.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:19pm CDT

Pepper Mint discusses Sex Positive Classes, Conferences, and hosting OpenSF on this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast!

Direct download: swingset073.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:40pm CDT

Pepper Mint (@freaksexual, rejois the Swingset for discussion on hard kink.

We open with a discussion about mommy porn and Fifty Shades of Grey and move into discussion about the BDSM and kink communities, plow through into contracts, talk about our actual kinks. Dylan asks about punching, Shira emotes about being punched in the butt, and Cooper cringes when needle play is mentioned, and we end by talking about how wonderful the human body is and how people process histories of abuse and sometimes use kinks to help.


Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

Direct download: swingset072.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:53pm CDT

We are joined by The Professor and Boris & Doris of the Boris & Doris Podcast to follow up on a discussion prompted by Gay Rick from Sex Is Fun on his Facebook page. We discuss the uniqueness of the term "Vanilla" as it relates to open relationships, sex positivity, BDSM crowds, and whether it is, in general a positive or negative.

Direct download: swingset071.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:07am CDT

Shira talks about sapiosexual foreplay. Cooper discusses building an untraditional family and continues his baby phobia. Ginger and the Professor have just returned from the Swingercast Desire Resort & Spa trip and tell us about their time in paradise. (Ginger spends the VAST majority of this episode giggling.) The Professor paints a beautiful word portrait of a nude Shira B. Katz striding along the beach with glistening wet labia. And Cooper insists that geese are bastards.

Direct download: swingset070.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:42am CDT

Oral Sex. Cunnilingus. Rim Jobs. Today we discuss anything and everything oral on this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast! We start with the basics, what we prefer, what we enjoy, and delve into different types of oral play. After a rousing instructional segment on how to suck Dylan's cock, Shira B. Katz gives us both information and directions on better oral play with barriers.

Direct download: swingset069.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:11pm CDT

In this show, we talk about one of our favorite subjects... ourselves!

We've been steadily evolving and felt like keeping all of you up-to-date on where are we going, why we're moving in that direction, all while throwing in a bit of misdirection with Metroid and Mega Man to keep you guessing. We address two listener questions / comments and all in all have a good time sharing our lives with each other.

Direct download: swingset068.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:23am CDT

After a detour involving Prof Stephen Hawking's time spent at a sex club, we discuss new swingers, polyamorists, and non-monogamists. Cooper and Dylan both profess their affection with newbies, while Shira and Ginger confess they make them nervous. After the break we talk about our own experiences being newbies, and get sidetracked again by a discussion of Classic Chicago Commercials. Cooper closes the show by reviewing Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Pegging.

Direct download: swingset067.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:44pm CDT

Dylan launches a custom sexy talk service. We discuss the ethics and reasoning behind wanting or not wanting to date someone you're mentoring. Cooper and Dylan both want to fuck all their friends. We discuss what chemistry means to us all, the surprise of a chemistry blindside, and the difficulty of getting four way chemistry in swinging dating. Cooper reviews the Nexus Revo.

Direct download: swingset66.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:02pm CDT

JV Altharas and Shara from Ending The Sexual Dark Age join us to discuss the dichotomy of being friends with your swinging playmates, and how we feel that enhances the value of the sex, but also how that can drift into other ares. We get sidetracked by the idea of writing directions on thighs, Cooper updates his Poly experiment, and Dylan rants about politics. 

Direct download: swingset065.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:41am CDT

We cold open with Cooper having a butt plug (hand crafted by Boris at inserted by Marilyn, then lead into a discussion of our kinks kicked off by a listener voicemail request. We round robin it for a while, discovering some of our surface kinks, resistance play, certain clothes, BDSM and pegging tops the list. Dylan spends much of the show insisting he doesn't have any kinks before realizing time and again that he does. We also talk about being squicked out by some people's kinks, and the difference between kink and fetish.

Direct download: swingset064.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:22pm CDT

We wrap up our "Swinging For Dummies" primer for the swinging lifestyle with the future. We discuss the types of relationships you might want to have with your swinging playmates, how to discuss that with them, how to determine what you're trying to get out of swinging, what websites you might use, and then shamelessly we implore you to join us in Desire this November.

Direct download: swingset63.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:27pm CDT

We squick Dylan out with talk of dragon sex. Dylan vindicates himself with a listener voicemail about post vasectomy emptiness, then discusses his gigantic balls. Once we establish that Shira is the Dummy of the title, we begin by discussing the difference between soft swap and full swap, same and separate rooms, and group sex.  We discuss developing community, not rushing, and rules, how being drunk is a turn-off. You're dating as a team.

Direct download: swingset062.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:41pm CDT

The Swingset crew gets quickly sidetracked by business that rapidly consumes the show. Dylan wants to be a Dom, Shira is enjoying being submissive. Cooper assigns the listeners the quest for a high quality strap on dildo that can squirt. We talk about being a switch, Cooper reveals his submissive tendencies, and we realize that we've talked far too long to continue the Swinging For Dummies show before next week.

Direct download: swingset061.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:48pm CDT

We continue our "Swinging For Dummies" discussion by moving into how to talk to your partner about your interest in non-monogamy. We weigh the idea of non-monogamy being a "deal-breaker" for your relationship and the future. Also on topic is potential for jealousy, the importance of LOTS of communication, and the excellent resources Sex at Dawn and Opening Up. When all is said and done, it's important to remember that you're going to be okay TOGETHER.

Direct download: swingset060.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 12:53pm CDT

We go back to basics in the first of our Swinging For Dummies episodes. But first, returning friend The Professor tells us about Ginger's panty-less New Years Eve celebration. We talk about the moment when we realized we were non-monogamous and how we dealt with that paradigm shift, how it impacted our perception of ourselves, and where we take that. We talk about cheating and deception while trying to be monogamous. We discuss the impact of monogamy on bisexuality, the complexity of polyamory, and how to begin.

Direct download: swingset059.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 4:04pm CDT