We're Gang Banging the Mailbag once again, it is in fact our 33rd time! Today, Dirty Lola, Cooper S. Beckett, Dr. Liz Powell, and Dylan Thomas answer your listener questions!
Also, Dylan wants to throw a shoutout to Bex Caputo, aka: @BexTalksSex on Twitter, for their article: Changing What You Love: On Considering Hormones While You're Non-Binary
I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.
The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away. We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.
Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.
Now the question: How do you break up with a couple?
My wife and I started our journey in the Lifestyle about 5 years ago. About 2 years ago we got close to some nearby swingers. (Wendy & Paul)
After a while, Wendy started to get jealous of my wife and her husband. They talked and decided that it was better to play in separate rooms. We did and was good for some time.
All was good until one night my wife visited him without them telling her. We were in a block party and she got a feeling, went to her house and came out really upset. He claims that he texted her. She received a text after the fact. Could it have been a delayed text? Who knows, does not matter. The point is that since that moment it was all drama with them and she pulled out from the relationship.
After that incident my wife and Paul started "dating" without Wendy knowing. After a while he told my wife that he felt uncomfortable of me being around when he was there and he'd rather be with her alone since I have her the vast majority of time, it was fair that she could spend good quality time with him from time to time, without me.
My wife really loves the guy, but she loves me too and this is tearing her up because although I let that situation to go for some time trying to explain them that I didn't like the arrangement and being left out, I finally put the breaks on it. it really kills me to see her so devastated. she wants to be with me and not lose him. he really wants her without me in the way, and I firmly believe that if we embark on a relation like this, me and my wife are the hosts and he would be a guest and should abide by our rules and I have tasted the feeling of being left behind and I didn't like it.... Am I wrong? What should I do? I'm really confused now.
I'm military serving in Afghanistan and I have been gone for several months with a few more to go. My wife and I have played together as a couple with other couples and an occasional single female once or twice.
Recently, we've increased our dirty chatting and sharing fantasies, becoming more and more graphic. She was attending a camping event that I knew drinks would be flowing along with some nudity. I found myself very excited at the prospect of my wife become sexual with another man.
All sort of situations played out in my mind. After, she shared that there was no more than a little light petting & teasing, but nothing more.
We then ventured into adding some fantasy to the reality in the retelling of the weekends events. Then over the course of the past week, we were discussing her getting wild and I was encouraging her to be naughty and to be sure to send me pictures. I shocked her when I described that I wanted to see some pictures with one of our friends cocks in her mouth. After the initial shock she bought into this plan with some teasing.
Then after Saturday night I was please to receive sexy pictures of her sucking our friends cock, along with some other shots that appeared to show her either on-top of him cowgirl style or being ridden doggy style from behind. She did reveal that those were staged for my enjoyment and that she didn't feel right doing anything beyond oral without me. I found the picture incredibly sexy and my wife told me she felt very sexy doing it.
She has expressed sexual frustration on her end and because of family visiting, she has not had much opportunity to use any of her toys. I've told her that I trust her if she needs to fuck our friend to relieve some frustration, as long as I get the footage of it. The thought excites me and I'd be OK with it once before I return, just not on a routine basis.
I want my wife to be happy and I've told her that I am perfectly happy with what ever she is comfortable with and she should not feel pressured to do anything she is uncomfortable with.
I just wanted to share and see if there is any discussion about dialing in long distance this way?
This past year we found out our 25-year-old son is actually a transgender woman and is currently in transition. Because of our open minded lifestyle, we embrace this 1000%, and have done so from the very first phone call. We have made it clear that our house is a safe space and she can talk about anything wear anything bring home anyone. We are not naïve though we know the rest of the world does not think this way. Our extended families are both very conservative, Christians.
This is a sampling of what I worry every day as the parent of a transgender child:; Will my child have the shit beat out of them today? Will my child be murdered today? But my child commit suicide today? Will my child be fired today? Should my child not have gotten on the train today? And on it goes. I have seen the fear in her eyes stopping at a public highway rest stop, I have felt the fear walking into the public rest stop with her. It is real.
Now the dilemma. There is a big family wedding coming up this spring. The wedding is in North Carolina and our child has told us she is afraid to go there. I totally understand and support that. In showing our support for her we have told family members that we Will not be able to attend the wedding and have explained why. It's not that we don't want to go to the wedding, it is that we can't go to this location. Well, you can imagine how this is going over. We have family members now that are not talking to us and won't return messages. Certainly the easiest thing would be to just go, But we don't think that is the right thing to do. We are sticking by our guns in support of our new daughter but it's coming at a big cost.
Are we doing the right thing?
Again thanks for all you do it is so appreciated.
Check out Swinger Safari, the mobile app that has privacy, filter, and geolocation features unlike anything the Swingset has used before! Download the app for free and use the promo code LOTSS to get your free 60 days!
You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.
Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.
The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!
Android Users: Download and review our Android App!
Leave us a comment on this post or at firstname.lastname@example.org or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).
You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.
Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!
Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!