Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast

One of the main reasons that so many of us leave monogamous relationships is the realization that we or our partners may not be as hetero as we thought. Non-monogamy can provide an exceptional opportunity to go beyond Kinsey's Scale, and view the entire spectrum of sexuality that spreads out before us, learning about ourselves in the process. The fluidity of sexuality and sexual expression is often underappreciated in the vanilla world. From straight to gay, to bi, pan, and omni, that's what we're talking about tonight on Life on the Swingset, the Podcast.

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's featured music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"!

 

Today's intro music came courtesy of Vlad Lucan in his track titled Reverse!

 

 

Direct download: swingset272.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:23am CDT

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X (plus 1)!  We're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. As usual, answers have not been edited for content or clarity! If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message, or email us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag!

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

 

 

 

 

Tonight we answer the following written questions:

My road into non-monogamy has been a twisted and challenging path. My 13-year marriage ended last year partly because of an incompatibility around the potential for opening our marriage.

When I started dating I tried to be very open with women about my desire for non-monogamy and live a polyamourous life that includes swinging and sometimes a little kink and BDSM. Through dating apps like Tinder I have met many wonderful women and had some great relationships develop. I have tremendously transparent conversations with these women. Most run for the hills after to non-monogamy talk, some are intrigued and go along with it for a while, but in the end these relationships mostly follow the same pattern. The woman is okay with other partners in the beginning, but as time passes she always has a difficult time with the non-monogamy and it ends or goes to the friend zone. Otherwise the woman wants a “don’t ask don’t tell” or “friends with benefits” approach, which to me is just single dating rather than ethical non monogamy. It is impossible to have intimacy without transparency.

Where does one go to find women who are already there in the poly/swinger community who are looking for other poly/swing single partners? Are there any better strategies for finding women more directly who already share these values?

Aaron from Canada

My brief backstory: 50ish male, married for twenty-something years. I have always struggled with attraction, crushes, and even feelings for, and from, others. Monogamy isn't actually what I want, and, in the spirit of a good mid-life crisis, I'm not getting any younger.

Being aware of the trauma that this might cause my wife, I have introduced the topic gently and slowly. She has reacted... well, it's hard to say. There has been no screaming and crying, which I guess is a good sign. The best description of her reaction is "ninja-level avoidant", as she deflects my every attempt to explore this in depth.

An example: after a recent talk she said "you've given me a lot to think about".

I realise what I want most is to have the relationship communication skills that are necessary to be non-monogamous in the first place. To have the openness that I hear others describe in their relationships. It's not even principally about the swinging anymore. I have communication envy!

So how do I learn to communicate like a non-monogamous person? And how do I teach someone else to do this? Is it possible?

My husband I have been in the swing lifestyle since we first started dating 6 years ago. Along the way, I have developed more romantic feelings for some of our partners, while things remain mainly about friendship and sex for my husband. I've tried to hide my feelings which has resulted in a lot of hurt. We are trying to figure out how to move forward when I feel more poly and he still feels more like a swinger and isn't interested in developing romantic relationships. I'm having trouble finding resources that talk about how to successfully move between the two.

Kara

Today I found out, in a convoluted way, that a long-term male partner of mine sexually assaulted someone. I don't know the any details. I don't know when it happened, or what happened afterwards. I do know that women don't lie about sexual assault. I also learned two others say they witnessed him pushing boundaries or putting women in uncomfortable situations , and that he's seen as a "missing stair" in some subsets of our local kink community.

This is someone I love. Someone I've only ever had positive, affirming, respectful experiences with. Someone I trusted with my life (and I'm an angry, suspicious, mostly-lesbian hardcore feminist killjoy who rarely trusts anyone).

What should I do?

Oh, and just to make things even more complicated, this partner's live-in partner is also my partner. We're a triad. Do I tell her? How?

In answering this question, Dylan lamented not reading the question before he read it as he wanted to have a more prepared answer. Dr. Liz on the other hand was able to respond quickly and effectively on ways to address members of the community to who have violated boundaries and support people who have had their boundaries violated, and how to both repair and grow the larger community after. Visit a compilation of resources Dr. Liz put together here.

 

We took a little time at the end of the episode for business. Dr. Liz put out a new video on Youtube titled "What's the 'Friend Zone' Anyway?"

Mike Joseph has been speaking lately on behalf of the Jed Foundation, a NYC based organization empowering teens and young adults with the skills and support to grow into healthy thriving adults. Visit them at www.jedfoundation.org.

You can also always find Mike Joseph at his podcast the Jheri Curl Chronicles Radio Show at www.popblerd.com.

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's intro music came via: ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ SXIP SHIREY in a track titled: Cinnamon Stick, featuring XAVIER. Find more information about Sxip Shirey here, or check out their January 9th, 2017 cd release show at National Sawdust in NYC at 7PM for "A Bottle of Whiskey and a Handful of Bees"!

 

 

 

 

 

Direct download: swingset271.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:19pm CDT

Welcome to Gang Bang The Mailbag TRIPLE X! That's right, this is our thirtieth listener mailbag episode, and we're recording tonight with a live (and muted) studio audience! As always, questions have been edited for content and clarity. If you have a question for a future listener mailbag, please give us a call at 573-557-9464 and leave us a message. Tonight, Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper and Dylan gang bang the mailbag!

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

 

Tonight we answer a voicemail question on how to maintain long distance play relationships, and the following written questions:

I'm a big fan of the podcast,of you as people and of all you're doing for people in the lifestyle. First of all I would like to say as a black man I appreciated the episode on Polyamorous as a Person of Colour, granted my experiences are a different as I am from a majority black country(Jamaica) so I swing with mostly black people.

Is being in fuck with someone a thing? Meaning you're not in love with them but you and them have a unique sexual chemistry. Is this a thing, can you be in love, just with having sex with someone?

I'm married to a great guy in a monogamous relationship. My fantasy has always been to have an MFM threesome. I finally found the courage to mention this to him a couple years ago, and he was cautious but excited about exploring; he could tell it really turned me on. The question has been who - we both want it to be someone we know well enough that we trust them, and I'm pretty picky. So we haven't really pursued it.

Well, we finally have someone in mind. Here's the thing: he's married. He and I originally met at burning man, and since then the four of us have all gotten to know each other. His wife is great. She jokes about his "girlfriends" and he implies they have some flexibility, but I'm not sure exactly what that means. When I asked him if they are poly, he said no, he doesn't like that term. So I don't really know if she'd be cool with it.

What is the protocol for trying to move things forward? I'd feel pretty comfortable asking the third if he'd be into it. I'd feel less comfortable asking his wife's "permission." Whatever happens, I don't want to foul up our friendship. (FWIW we don't have an interest in swinging at the moment.) What would you do?

 

Oh, and assuming the third is into it, any tips for keeping things sexy and comfortable for us? My husband is a little nervous how he'll feel seeing his wife with another man!

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

 

 

Direct download: swingset270.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:30am CDT

Dating in the heteronormative world is difficult. It's also bizarre enough that hundreds of comedies and dramas are made about dating every year. When you zoom down to that subsection of the culture, the minorities of the LGBTQ community who are seeking others in that same minority, it gets more complicated. Tonight we're joined by Claire to talk about dating on the outskirts of sexuality, and LGBTQ matchmaking with Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Dylan, and Cooper.

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

You can find Claire Ah, matchmaker, at friendofafriendmatchmaking.com!

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

 

Direct download: swingset269.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:11pm CDT

A large percentage of us dwell pretty securely within the non-monogamy closet. Friends and family may know something is different about us, but they rarely know fully what is up. That said, we live in a world where being sex-positive and progressive can make a big difference, as can standing with those who are bravely out, so tonight, Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Cooper and Dylan talk about how to navigate being sex-positive from inside the non-monogamy closet .

As you listen, don't forget to tweet at #sspodcast!

We're sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order. 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

 

Direct download: swingset268.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:00am CDT

Life on the Swingset hosts its fifth annual trip to Desire Resort & Spa in Cancún, right in the heart of the Riviera Maya. Cooper, Dylan, Dr. Liz, Lyndzi, and Mr. Pent sit under the thatched roof and next to the bar of the rooftop hot tub and talk Fridays, resort staff, about the cosmic joke that is being "stuck" in Mexico while Election 2016 concluded, and about the new normal that involves orgies under the stars and so much more.

Thank you to our trip sponsors!

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

 

Direct download: swingset267.mp3
Category:SSDesire -- posted at: 3:54pm CDT

Communication. It doesn't need to be said, yet as it's the answer to so many questions we get asked, it really can't be overstated. One of the most important parts of communication when it comes to sexy time, is learning to ask for what you want, so we discuss that in today's episode of Life on the Swingset, along with Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper, and Dylan.

Today's episode of Life on the Swingset is sponsored by Better Than the Hand, a website that aims to deconstruct stigma and toxicity surrounding male sexuality and masturbation through articles, blogs, toy reviews, and an online store. We're also sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

DylanThomasBabeRuth

Dr. Liz starts out stating that there's an assumption of wanting to respect what we think someone else wants, and that we make the assumption that "asking for what I want may negatively affect their experience". Cooper asks if Dylan has this problem because he's trying not to be selfish, Dylan suspects that's the case.

Mike Joseph mentions that homosexual sex (especially the top vs. bottom negotiation) by default has more communication than heterosexual sex. Dr. Liz comments that women that have sex with women also have a ton more conversations, and that people who consider themselves sex geeks or sex educators really bump up the level of conversation and negotiation that goes into sex.

“If you don’t ask for what you want, you’re not going to have that next level sex you’ve been dreaming of.” “Just like you need to be gracious in saying yes, you should try to be gracious in your no’s as well.”

- Dylan

“I think a lot of those shitty no’s are coming from people shame as well. The reason you give a really shitty no and react with disgust is this kind of, performative goodness. If what they want is bad, then the best way to separate yourself from it is to perform how offended you are by it.”

- Dr. Liz

"HOW DARE YOU." “Everything changed when I started asking for what I wanted, It as just as likely to be a result of you not asking for what you want than the party not giving you what you want.”

- Cooper

While Dylan explains how sometimes, when about to play with someone who has a large tool kit / is well skilled at communication, he likes to get an initial yes to exploration and chart the path forward in the moment, listening to non-language verbal cues, and body response. Mike Joseph mentions that it sounds like a recipe for uncertainty and anxiety, so Dylan talks his way through a play session with someone that's willing an open. Mike discovers that being inside someone often elicits all sorts of non-verbal responses. *grin*

Cooper mentions that sometimes, in the run up to a party or play session, it's easy to fire away a thought via instant messenger and walk away, it makes it easy to ask for something without necessarily needing feedback right away.

Dr. Liz mentions the mildest and wildest activity that many people use at the beginning of play parties and Dylan mentions that even though he uses it, tt never quite "feels" right.

“The way I’ve always seen that exercise (mildest and wildest) is that it tells you where the buffet starts and ends. It doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be able to get any specific dish on the buffet.”

- Dr. Liz

Dr. Liz also mentions that the mildest and wildest activity helps her check-in with herself, and that it's a way of conveying a range of options, not necessarily a set destination, describing it as the beginning and the end of a buffet.

The conversation moves to being awkward about starting conversation. Dr. Liz mentions she has a formula.

"What I tell people is one of the most effective ways to start a conversation, is by sharing something you’re feeling about having that conversation. You're leading with your softness instead of leading with your hardness."

- Dr. Liz

You can also find the John Oliver "This Week Tonight" video about Third Parties here:

 

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

 

Direct download: swingset266.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 3:05pm CDT

So, we apparently decided it was a good idea to podcast the night after election day. In Mexico. We were wrong.

We've posted a three minute rain delay episode as it is actually raining outside (instead of last year). We'll be back next week.

Thanks folks, and if you need someone who needs this... please pass it along.

Suicide Hotline: 800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line: 741741

Trans Hotline: 877-565-8860

LGBTQ+ Hotline: 866-488-7386

Direct download: swingset-ssdesireraindelay2.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:58am CDT

It's no secret that in the pantheon of the LGBT spectrum, bisexual people are looked down upon, told they don't really exist, avoided in dating life. Bisexuals also often feel less pressure to come out, as they can so easily pass as one side or the other. Paradoxically, this leads to bi invisibility and erasure, so we discuss, and make an attempt to deconstruct this in today's episode of Life on the Swingset, along with Dr. Liz Powell, Mike Joseph, Cooper, and Dylan.

Today's episode of Life on the Swingset is sponsored by Better Than the Hand, a website that aims to deconstruct stigma and toxicity surrounding male sexuality and masturbation through articles, blogs, toy reviews, and an online store. We're also sponsored by Castle Megastore, a one stop shop with everything you could want, from wand vibrators, to harnesses, to lube and condoms, to a complete suite of BDSM equipment including sex furniture. If you use the promo code SWINGSET at check out you can save 20% on your order.

 

National Coming Out Day was a pretty big deal for Cooper this year. He discussed his reasons as coming out, specifically to his conservative family, as someone who has struggled with his sexuality and is still working through it, and why he chose not to identify to them as queer, even though he specifically identifies with queer.

The conversation moves to reasons why not to come out, whether because livelyhood may be jeopardized (as in Dr. Liz's relaying of her experience of being in the army before Don't Ask Don't Tell was fully repealed), or child custody may be revoked, or any other reason to stay in the closet.

Mike posits that many people aren't all open to themselves (as with straight identified men who still seek men), and mentions that even being the out partner in a gay couple has stress that comes with it.

The panel talks specifically about ways that people specifically disappear bisexuality, telling men who identify as bi that they are gay and they haven't admitted it yet (bi now, gay later), or that bisexual people, because so much effort has been exerted to create the separate gay identity that having a bridge between those identities, muddy the waters.

To Dr. Liz, the conflict presents differently as women, that there's a "penis phobia" that can exist so that bi women who have sex with men are tagged as higher risk because there is less transmission risk between women who only have sex with women. Dr. Liz also takes time to lament the fact that before she got her "super stereotypical queer haircut" everyone assumed she was straight, but now that she has it, everyone assumes she's gay!

Mike brings up that at many events he attends, almost every woman identifies as bisexual even though most men identify as straight, even if they later identify as curious or fluid, and that it may be a holdover from the aids crisis in that if you identified as bi or gay you were automatically more likely to get infected. Dr. Liz adds that there's a challenge to masculinity involved, and that men who identify as straight but still fuck men create a safe space to sexually express themselves without the stigma of challenging that masculinity, and that any question as to why that man may marry a woman even if he fucks men doesn't get asked. Dylan brings up that many bi woman in monogamous relationships get the same challenge, and they get questions as to why they "even bother" identifying as bisexual if they're marrying a man, because they'll never get to do anything about their attraction to women. Dr. Liz mentions that bisexuals get misidentified sexually based on the genitals they're interacting with as opposed to their actual preferences.

Dylan asks about the pansexual label, and whether people identifying as pansexual get to skip some of the bisexual stigma or confusion... but gets that thought dismissed as most people outside of the queer community would just not understand what it is. He follows up with a questions about whether bisexual men are seen as, as dangerous as bisexual women are to "the husbands" of straight women in monogamous relationships and... yes. Mike, as a queer man, has had his male friends told by their female partners not to hang out with them or has had his male friends' sexuality questions because of their desire to be friends with him.

Cooper mentions that whenever you present an alternative to traditional heteronormative nonmonogamy to people who actively try not to look into and not think about it, that anyone with predispositions to something other than traditional heteronormative may show interest and that's dangerous.

Dylan compares it to Doctor Who weeping angels and... pretty much stuns everyone into silence, and into a little bit of weeping.

After a break, Dr. Liz discusses ideas to help with bi erasure, whether thinking about the bi celebrities you know (and with say, Anna Paquin being bi but being identified as straight because she's married to a man), and that when you meet someone you really only have one datapoint, and to stay open.

We talk about attraction, and how you don't necessarily need to identify the way your attraction takes you, because it's ok to explore fantasy, explore the juiciness of, and even still decide to act it out without identifying as your attraction.

<script>

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

Direct download: swingset265.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:39pm CDT

#ssclassic: SS 030: Love Thyself - Masturbation and Non-Monogamy
Direct download: SwingsetSpecial030.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:41pm CDT

As couples, so often we're looking for the third. The unicorn usually. They're rare, seemingly unobtainable, but when we find them it's just so magical. Except that we're often boxing that unicorn in, that single person who now has to put up with our pre-established couples dynamic and the fact that if we ghosted it'd be as a pair. Yep, tonight we're talking about couples privilege and what that means for the third so many of us are seeking.

Direct download: swingset264.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 2:16pm CDT

We all send dirty comments, dirty pictures, full on sext-travaganzas with our partners, playmates, friends straddling the edge of naughty. Tonight we're joined by the Swinging MILF herself, Sally Swings to talk about sending each other dirty pictures and messages through sexting.

Today's episode of Life on the Swingset is sponsored by Better Than the Hand, a website that aims to deconstruct stigma and toxicity surrounding male sexuality and masturbation through articles, blogs, toy reviews, and an online store.

The Swingset crew starts by discussing the difference between different types of sexting, "the tease", and the "taking it to completion" type, and how sexting is often compatible with our every day busy lives because we're always on the go. Sexting gives us a charge, a kick, it's something that we bring back to our partners.

Sally and Dylan commiserate over being in private photo groups when men complain how their photos only get a couple likes, while women's photos get tens or hundreds. Cooper poses the thought that unsolicited dick pics and the general dick pic "economy" gives pretty extreme incentives to women willing to share, and that because of a scarcity of that kind of photo, men swarm and ... create disincentives to sharing. Dylan discusses unsolicited dick pics as men seeking power, and as a full frontal assault on someone, while simultaneously causing men whose dick pics are refused to act aghast, as if their pics are a gift to the world and should be accepted unconditionally. Cooper decides it'd be funny to try and flood Dylan's inbox with topless photos so, in that spirit, listeners... email Dylan at dylan@lifeontheswingset.com and send him your topless pics! He consents on behalf of Dylan, Dylan indicates a measure of exasperated agreement with that given consent. R.I.P. his inbox.

In episode business, Cooper has finally finished writing his second swinging novel! Dylan brings up the We-Vibe lawsuit and feels strongly about companies collecting more information than people have really volunteered to give.

Ars Technica: Sex Toys and the Internet of Things Collide: What Could Go Wrong?

The Guardian: Tech Company Accused of Collecting Details of How Customers Use Sex Toys

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

7 Minutes Dead - Peacock

7 Minutes Dead - Peacock (Haywyre Remix)

 

 

Direct download: swingset263.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

When people consider exploring non-monogamy, we tell them to picture a pretty good but occasionally difficult relationship (ie, every relationship) and then picture it expanding exponentially because you've added more people. Eventually becoming a tesseract of interlocking and interconnected parts. Each of those parts, believe it or not, have a mind of their own. We've all been in moments where it seems insurmountable, where we acknowledge that this whole damned thing is just too hard and consider the days of monogamous yore. We discuss what pushes us to the edge, and what keeps us going, because playing with and loving others feels so fucking right.

Dylan starts the discussion with a personal update; Tonia feels isolated, not having people she feels she can talk to openly even when she's surrounded by friends contributes to that feeling. It's made her consider giving up this whole non-monogamy thing and it's left Dylan feeling useless since there's not a lot that Dylan can do to directly help. Dylan's feels guilt over some recent success and he hates the feeling that he's leaving her bind.

Cooper mentions that, acknowledging the negative feedback loop Tonia's in, that multiple partners bring a particular joy that we all seek, sexually and emotionally, Dylan explanabrags a bit but then admits that his #1 attraction to this lifestyle is that he no longer has to feel along, because he's part of this exclusive (but very inclusive) club. Ginger seals the point by stating that the relationship choices we make enrich our lives through the people we connect with, and that we bring that energy back to the relationships with those we've built a life with.

Ginger recommends a book, Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples, by Nena O'Neill.

 

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Anna Yvette & Laura Brehm - Summer Never Ends

Pegboard Nerds - Try This

Koven - Silence

 

 

Direct download: swingset262.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:00am CDT

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.

Mater 
Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

 

Direct download: swingset261.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:46pm CDT

There are few acts in the pantheon of sexuality that carry with them so much intrigue, coveting, and fear, as double penetration, and its more advanced siblings double vaginal and double anal. For one thing, these really can't be done in a monogamous relationship. Oh sure, we can use dildos and such things, but that's not really where the intrigue lies, does it? We discuss double penetration or "DP" in its many forms and talk other varsity level sexual moves.

Thank you to SheVibe for always being awesome, and to SexyLosers for "schlick".

Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you!

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Candyland & Ricci - Touch Me

Favright - Iceladen 

Tristam - My Friend

Direct download: swingset260.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:20pm CDT

While we're pretty good on the Swingset at talking about our experiences in polyamory and swinging, We have limits to our shared experience, so we reached out and asked Mike Joseph to join the Swingset and speak to us about his experience navigating dating and polyamory as a person of color.

 

We discussed some of the challenges dating couples, Dylan called the question: "Why should we have to convince people that doing the right thing will improve their lives, when they should just do the right thing?" regarding diversity. We asked about, and Mike spoke about the advantages and challenges of being unique and out as queer person of color in multiple communities.

Also, Mark Zuckerberg should give us money, give us all money.

You can find Mike Joseph on twitter @realmikejoseph, at his website PopBlerd.com, and on the Blerd Radio podcast!

 

 

Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you!

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Au5 - Follow You (feat. Danyka Nadeau) (Volant Remix)

Favright - Iceladen 

Hellberg & Aaron Richards - Synchronize (VIP Mix - Acoustic)

 

Direct download: swingset259.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

Ginger takes the cords of the mailbag and sits down with Dylan and a LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE as they answer listener questions for the 29th Gang Bang the Mailbag! The Swinger Doc also sits down for another edition of the Medical Mailbag! In this mailbag he answers a listener question on risks associated with hot tub sex!


Questions in this Gang Bang the Mailbag include:

My husband and I opened our relationship about a year ago, and have both developed deep connections with other partners but haven't dipped our toes into the swinging side of things. I now have a few fun potential opportunities on the horizon to do just that. Here's the thing. I'm positive for HSV-1, and I'm one of the lucky ones who acquired it genitally. I'm responsible, educated, and up-front, but I'm feeling very anxious about it in the context of these more casual opportunities. I've already dealt with slut-shaming and with ignorant and poisonous reactions to my status. Would I even be allowed to participate at something like a play party, an orgy, or Desire? If so, what are the expectations and etiquette?

So, I have an average cock. I mean around the 50th percentile both erect and flaccid. That also makes me a grower, not a show-er. I should be OK with that. But I'm not. Hard for this sex-positive guy to admit I’m troubled by this. I really enjoy going nude in public - at appropriate places, of course. However, I have observed without fail, I'm the absolute smallest I see. I went to a clothing optional resort this weekend to work on my tan and wherever I looked EVERYONE was hung better than me - and most by a huge (pun intended) amount. The little guy tends to “turtle” and this does not help my confidence.

Is it that swinger and nudist men tend to be on the larger side by self-selection? Are we of more modest endowment simply ashamed and less inclined to participate in those activities? I enjoy swinging and have never been (knowingly) penis shamed by others. I still can't keep the penis envy in the box. Let’s hear about your experiences and observations along with some words of wisdom to us "nominally-endowed" and "turtling-inclined" men.

My wife and I are in contact with another couple through the 3nder (now Feeld) app and are considering setting up a date with them. We have been having some great group conversations via text and have become more and more interested in them. The other night the couple nonchalantly mentioned that they have a newborn. Only 4 weeks old! Needless to say, we didn't see this coming. Their profile suggests that they are into most any type of play. The elephant in the room is what condition is her body in for play?? They specifically joined the app to find her a girl to play with but are also interested in couples they say. We are assuming she is producing milk and probably still healing from the birth. How can we be respectful in asking these questions and keep her from being self conscious? What other questions should we ask in this situation? Any advice from you "seasoned" swingers? :)

My partner and I are new to swinging and having, for the most part, a grand time. But, there is one trend we've noticed that we're interested in some clarification over: people having loud conversations about boring stuff in the play areas of sex clubs. My girlfriend (a petite, curvy 5'3" roller derby girl who I'm pretty sure is the "shawty" in all the songs and quite possibly the inspiration for "Baby Got Back") and I are exhibitionists and will be going at it and suddenly, I kid you not, a couple will come in, sit nearby, and start talking about work, traffic, doctor's appointments, blah blah blah, REALLY LOUD, thus annihilating our boners.

The people doing this seem like they're old hats at swinging, so we've got to know: is this a thing? What's going on? Is it acceptable to tell them to shut the hell up even though we're in a more public area, or are long time swingers just jaded with sex and loud boring chats two feet from people who are athletically fucking just a part of the scene?

My husband and I have been dabbling in the lifestyle for about 2 years now but our experiences have been very limited so we are definitely still newbies. We would love to explore more and go to more events and stuff but it is difficult. We have 2 young children and live in a very rural area. Swinging parties that we've come across take place later in the evening and usually an hour plus drive for us. This then requires an overnight sitter.

Did we come into this lifestyle at a bad time? Seems others that have children usually have older children so they have flexibility in going out that we do not. It gets very frustrating but honestly not sure there is much to be done about it. Any tips or thoughts? Should we just give up on this whole swinger thing for now?

 

Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you!

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

 

We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

 

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

 

Today's podcast featured music by:

Tokyo Machine - OKAY

Marshmello - Alone (Streex Remake)

 

Direct download: swingset258.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

On this episode we'll be discussing mental illness in non-monogamy with special guest Cooper S Beckett from Life On The Swingset podcast and www.coopersbeckett.com

Those of us in non-monogamous circles spend a unique amount of time relating with others in a very intimate manner. When we let go of the standard social narrative of one partner only and admit our desire for intimacy with multiple others, we often let go of many of the other social façades in place and talk more honestly and intimately about other issues in our lives. Issues such as mental illness.

Before we start, we'd like to say that none of us are mental health professionals or experts and are merely discussing our personal experiences and observations on the subject. If you are in crisis and need help, please seek resources in your local area.

Canada

http://www.cmha.ca/mental-health/

http://suicideprevention.ca/thinking-about-suicide/find-a-crisis-centre/

You can also call 911 for help

USA

http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help/index.shtml

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Follow us on twitter @onthewetcoast @wetcoastKat @seriousFLICK

Like us on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/OnTheWetCoast/

Email your questions or comments to contact@onthewetcoast.com

Check out all the other great podcasts on the Swingset.fm network at Swingset.fm

Music in this episode: Theme music - A Naked Gun: Bank Assault by Francesco D'Andrea 

Episode music - Puzzle Pieces by Lee Rosevere 

Promo music - Latin Rhythm by Sunsearcher 

Direct download: ss-wetcoast.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:04am CDT

Cooper gets the night off as Ginger makes herself available to Dylan to discuss his attraction to breasts, and his fear that they are the focus of too much attention and energy.

The Swinger Doc sits down for another edition of the Medical Mailbag! In this mailbag he answers a listener question on how to find high quality sex positive and nonmonogamy friendly medical care.

Help us out Swingset Fans! While we absolutely would love you to buy a shirt, buying condoms, or to support us by throwing us a dollar or two every time we release an episode, there are ways you can support us at no cost to you!

Leave us a review and a five star rating on iTunes! Leave us a review and a five star rating on Stitcher! Subscribe to us on Youtube! Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you

 

We have FIFTEEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Candyland & Shoffy titled: Faces.

Direct download: swingset257.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:04am CDT

All three of us here on the Swingset have occasionally dated and played independent of our partners, and all three of our partners have dated and played independent of us. A moment that can be tricky, especially early on in the swinging or poly lifestyles, is that moment of re-entry, where our partner (or us) returns from a date or play session. We take time to dissect how re-entry feels when you're the partner "left behind", and when you're the partner on the go.

 

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from the Haywyre album: Two Fold Pt. 1: Doppelgänger, and Voice of Reason.

 

Direct download: swingset256.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:11pm CDT

We've talked a lot of bout community lately on the Swingset, and while we've specifically made the point that it's not enough to talk about diversity but to take action to seek it out, we've done a poor job of acknowledging that diversity includes diversity of racial background and we've contributed to a deafening silence around people of color in our communities.

We invited Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK, two Baltimore, MD kink and sex educators, to join us to specifically discuss kink communities and and to discuss the experience of people of color in kink communities. Together, we hit what it can mean to feel ignored or erased when attempting to integrate into a community. We acknowledged that people of color have an extra threshold of acceptance. We discussed what makes communities safe, and what we can do to reach out and make communities feel safer to people of color and as a result, everyone. We discuss people who exploit safe spaces, and discuss what happens when an entire group takes a negative stereotype on behalf of a single bad actor. We touch on racial fetishes, assumptions surrounding them, and how without consent, racial fetishes dehumanize their targets, and how people can switch from fetish to racism as soon as they don't get what they're looking for.    

If you're attending Woodhull's Sexual Freedom Summit on August 6th, Mr BLK and Ms Pomegranate are presenting on Different Shades of Kink: Questions of Diversity in Sex Positive Lifestyles (#SFSShades) and giving rope demos throughout!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.You can find the self-described wonder twins Ms Pomegranate and Mr BLK on twitter @BlkPomegranate and on their website www.theblackpomegranate.com.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Haywyre: Sculpted, from the Two Fold Pt. 1 Album, and from Stephen Walking: Claptrap, and from Noisestorm: This Feeling.

 

Direct download: swingset255.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:20am CDT

How do you find other swingers? How do you find people to date? Those top a list of frequent questions we get on the Swingset. As outsiders looking in, as people curious to get started, we all wonder if we'll be able to do this, because there's that foreign concept in the middle. Finding people to fuck. Finding people to date. Finding people not just okay with open, but enthusiastic about it. Tonight, we talk about the pursuit, finding playmates, finding lovers.

We recorded this podcast LIVE in front of our audience of patrons. We're trying something new, if you have comments on the audio quality please send that feedback to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com, whether it is "still excellent!" or "wholly inadequate"!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Rogue, titled Imperfect Views, and from Botnek and I See MONSTAS titled Deeper Love, remixed by Xan Griffin.

Direct download: swingset254.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:44pm CDT

We're back! We took the longest (only) hiatus in Swingset History and each of us has come back rested and ready. Today we discuss the blurring of the line between swinging and polyamory and how things tend to evolve in ways well beyond our expectations.

[HAZINESS INTENSIFIES]

We recorded this podcast LIVE in front of our audience of patrons. We're trying something new, if you have comments on the audio quality please send that feedback to dylan@lifeontheswingset.com, whether it is "still excellent!" or "wholly inadequate"!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, Mr. Pent on Twitter @mr_pent, and Kat on Twitter @WetCoastKat.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more! You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music from Anevo, titled Electric Heart (featuring Ameria), from Slips & Slurs and Mihka titled WiFi Tears, from Pixl titled Broken Bones (featuring Cassandra Kay), and our anthem for returning to the world, Puppet and Foria's song I'm Here.

 

Direct download: swingset253.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:40am CDT

It's Desire Week at Life on the Swingset, with 150 days and less than 25 rooms remaining for our 2016 Desire Takeover (November 5-12) we're running Desire episodes of the podcast as well as blogs and articles. If you'd like to join us in Desire this November, head over to SSDesire.com! It's booking fast!

For this Desire Week special, Cooper offers five essays about Desire from the audiobook version of his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory for your enjoyment.

Buy the audiobook here and use promo code DESIRE to save 10%.

Direct download: desire-wk-audiobook.mp3
Category:SSDesire -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

It's Desire Week at Life on the Swingset, with 150 days and less than 25 rooms remaining for our 2016 Desire Takeover (November 5-12) we're running Desire episodes of the podcast as well as blogs and articles. If you'd like to join us in Desire this November, head over to SSDesire.com! It's booking fast!

We took time out of our very hard and busy work schedules in Desire to record a discussion with JV and Shara of Ending the Sexual Dark Age as well as a couple dozen other sexy naked people, We discuss what Desire means to us, what having places where we can be our authentic selves means and about creating those spaces wherever, whenever, and with whoever we can. We hear from people about getting comfortably naked for the first time in front of other people and we hear about why we will always come back to Desire.

We also talk about having a LOT of sex

Direct download: desire-wk-thursday-184.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

Show notes for Episode 11 of the Our Better Half Podcast, March 20, 2016

Laura whispers about ASMR in your ear, interviews an ASMRtist, learns about Wisdom the Albatross, the history of dildos, and catches up on the news
 
Lauren Ostrowski Fenton, an ASMR provider
Dr. Rosalind Baculum: Wisdom the Albatross
Pt. 1 of Alberta Knish's toy series, this one on history of dildos
 
In case YOU missed it:
 Loud sex in Sweden
Skirt Clubs
Queer Voices
Robots searching for love in all your wrong places
 Paid for sex?
Neil Degrasse Tyson and cat sex


intro music: GarageBand “Collins Avenue”, 
Estelle Reiner quote from “When Harry Met Sally” (1989)
Birthday music: Gerbil Bliss - Jake's Kept a Rollin 
Exit tap dance music: Pond5

 

Dylan's Intro Music:

Direct - Tranquility

Dylan found Laura Collins Lyster Mensh at this Huffington Post article.

Direct download: OurBetterHalf11-Swingset.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:01pm CDT

It's Desire Week at Life on the Swingset, with 150 days and less than 25 rooms remaining for our 2016 Desire Takeover (November 5-12) we're running Desire episodes of the podcast as well as blogs and articles. If you'd like to join us in Desire this November, head over to SSDesire.com! It's booking fast!

Vacations. Aren't they great? But you know what's better? SEXY VACATIONS. The kind where you can be naked and flirt all day and have sex all night. Or maybe you decide on an afternoon delight. Of course, on vacation, you have time for all of the above! For those who've never been on a sexy vacation, they can also be intimidating and scary. For our ninth Swinging for Beginners episode we, enthusiastic advocates of the sexy vacation, share what we have learned so that your next sexy vacation is everything you want it to be and more.

We discuss remembering the sunscreen, being ok with spending time alone, enjoying costumes and costuming, managing expectations, packing, and more!

Direct download: desire-wk-wednesday-209.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

It's Desire Week at Life on the Swingset, with 150 days and less than 25 rooms remaining for our 2016 Desire Takeover (November 5-12) we're running Desire episodes of the podcast as well as blogs and articles. If you'd like to join us in Desire this November, head over to SSDesire.com! It's booking fast!

Ginger, Professor, Miko, Ronin, Ophilia, and Cooper are out of the office this week. They've jet off to paradise in Mexico at Desire Resort and Spa for a swinging vacation, the third annual Life on the Swingset Takes Desire. With 160 people along for the ride, they've spent a week of hedonism, debauchery, and drunkenness that would make the Rolling Stones sit back and take note. On Thursday of their week long trip, they sat down to talk with a live audience of friends and lovers, and do a live podcast.

This is the result.

Direct download: desire-wk-tuesday-183.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

It's Desire Week at Life on the Swingset, with 150 days and less than 25 rooms remaining for our 2016 Desire Takeover (November 5-12) we're running Desire episodes of the podcast as well as blogs and articles. If you'd like to join us in Desire this November, head over to SSDesire.com! It's booking fast!

 

Desire. It's an emotion, raw and real. It's a place, warm and inviting, November 7th through the 14th of 2015, we made it our space. We brought 79 (and a half, thanks to the amazing Kendra Holliday) couples to Cancun, to the Riviera Maya, to Mexico, to the Desire Resort & Spa, and we collectively made the resort our own.

J.V. Altharas and Shara Bono joined us once again to co-host the trip, run kink demonstration and education events, and all in all... to enjoy and consume everything available in paradise, in the sexiest place on earth.

Direct download: desire-wk-monday-230.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 11:36am CDT

Ginger and Cooper continue to gang bang that mailbag!

Tonight we answer questions about being given the go ahead to be open and then having it revoked, what it's like to be an introvert at a swing club, if voyeurism is allowed at clubs, difficulties playing separately, and transitioning from a swing relationship to a poly relationship.

What do you think Dylan is off doing on his hiatus? Tweet at us with hashtag #SSHiatus to let us know, the winner will get an awesome toy from SheVibe!

Direct download: ss252.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:00am CDT

Jealousy pops up everywhere in our lives -- at work, at home, and in romantic relationships. It can range from slight twinges to full-blown outbursts. No one likes feeling jealous, but it can be hard to avoid when you're in an alternative relationship.

The Multiamory crew has gotten intimately acquainted with jealousy many times, and in this episode we share with you five tactics for turning your jealousy dragon into a cute little shoulder lizard. (That's a thing, right?)

More great info on breaking negative or jealous thought patterns here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201512/what-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-it

Check out our sponsor, AdamAndEve.com, and use code MULTI at checkout to get 10 free gifts and support our show.

Multiamory was created by Dedeker Winston, Jase Lindgren, and Emily Matlack.

Our theme music is Forms I Know I Did by Josh and Anand.

Please send us your feedback and questions to info@multiamory.com, tweet to us @multiamory, check out our facebook page, or visit our website multiamory.com We love to hear from our listeners and we reply individually to every message.

 

Direct download: multiamory050.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 5:54pm CDT

We're scaling back a little at The Swingset to allow ourselves to take some needed rest. This has caused Dylan to go off to The Dakotas to hunt mastodon. Meanwhile, Ginger and Cooper hold down the fort, debating whether or not two people can in fact gang bang a mailbag.

Tonight we answer questions about bisexual exploration as men and women, bi invisibility, the one penis policy, what happens when you can't stand a partner's playmate, non-monogamy from infidelity, and how to find that great parallel poly couple.

What do you think Dylan is off doing on his hiatus? Tweet at us with hashtag #SSHiatus to let us know, the winner will get an awesome toy from SheVibe!

Direct download: ss251.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 9:56am CDT

"Pegging Enthusiast" isn't just Cooper's motto... it's his mission statement. One of the most specific sex acts, named in a contest by Dan Savage's Savage Love Readers, pegging is when a woman wearing a strap-on fucks a man in the ass. We've talked about it off and on over the years, always couched in the broader topic of anal play, but tonight we're going to give it its due. There's only one person who can be called master on this subject. The progenitor of the Pegging Paradise podcast, Ruby Ryder is here to talk about it with us.

We mentioned we preferred the following equipment while discussing pegging:

Tantus Hoss Dildo

Fuze Harmony Black Silicone Dildo

SpareParts Deuce Male Harness

SpareParts Joque Harness

SpareParts Sasha Lingerie Harness - Midnight Black

inJoyUs Strapless System

Aslan Leather Minx Asian Leather Jaguar

Ruby Ryder gave a Pegging 101 class for Not Safe with Nikki Glaser. Ruby also mentioned that Midori makes a mean scarf harness, here's a (NSFW) infographic on how to do it yourself! Ruby wrote an article for Tantus about the Truth about Strapless Strap-Ons.

The Swinger Doc discussed a listener question taking viagra as a woman for orgasm assistance! You can send him your questions on twitter @TheSwingerDoc or call 573-55-SWING, that's 573-55-9464.

 Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, Mr. Pent on Twitter @mr_pent, and Kat on Twitter @WetCoastKat.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!  

Tonight's episode featured the following music:

Hush - Tentakel

Slips & Slurs x Mihka! - WiFi Tears

Draper - With You (feat. Alby Hobbs)  

 

 

Direct download: swingset250.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:45am CDT

We've talked of group sex and orgies often, the logistics of sex and play parties, of mfm threesomes, and somehow danced around the actual genesis for our mailbag titles. It so happens that we know Jennifer, a frequent gang bang center of attention, and co planning conspirator, so we discuss the many ins and outs of gang bangs tonight!      

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, Mr. Pent on Twitter @mr_pent, and Kat on Twitter @WetCoastCat.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!  

Tonight's episode featured the following music:

PYLOT - The Place I Once Knew

Melano - Traveller

Slips & Slurs x Mihka! - WiFi Tears  

 

 

Direct download: swingset249.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 5:37pm CDT

Today's episode features me, Dylan, speaking with Daisy, Dawn Ardent, Damien, and Duncan as we chat about our community and how we enjoy those of us in the community...thoroughly, being closeted, and loss.

 

I mentioned we on the Swingset needed a break and it looks like we've gotten it. Soon you'll do away with the tyranny of Dylan Thomas and you'll once again have the comfortable and familiar tyranny of Cooper S. Beckett to look forward to. We're recording an episode on Pegging with the...always outstanding Ruby Ryder, and an episode on Gang Bangs with a friend of ours, Jennifer. Google has opened its Play Music application to Podcasts!

 

If you've been reticent to use a podcast catcher but have a google account and of device that welcomes google apps you can find Life on the Swingset (and our other Swingset family podcasts) by searching for us.

 

Our full take over of Desire Resort and Spa is 2/3 full so...while we're just under six months away from our trip on November 5th through 12th, 2016 there aren't a lot of spots left. Check out Lifeontheswingset.com/desire for information. We've also had to rebrand the trip. While the drunken motto I came up with at Desire in 2015 sounded wonderful, it also had the unfortunate consequence of being trademarked. My bad. As a result I suggest an alternate Tagline.

Life on the Swingset takes over Desire 2016: Make Desire Great Again.  

 

The Swinger Doc is here to discuss a listener question about herpes! You can send him your questions on twitter @TheSwingerDoc or call 573-55-SWING, that's 573-55-9464.  

 

We featured three tracks on today's podcast.

Rezonate - Rebirth (feat. Ashley Apollodor)

Project 46 - No One (feat. Matthew Steeper)

Feint - Phosphor (feat. Miyoki)  

 

Direct download: swingset248.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:38am CDT

Hi Swingset Fans!

Dylan Theodore Thomas here,
(yes we've decided my middle name is Theodore)

Over the last six years, Life on the Swingset has grown into more than the sum of its parts. It's a podcast, it's a community, it's a podcasting network, it's a family,

One of the best parts of being here and being with you all is introducing you to new members of the family.


Shaina, known as @LoveNSausages on Twitter, is a monogamous, con brat,  happily vanilla, sex positive explorer, and a frequent visitor on /r/TrollXChromosomes on Reddit!

Magenta Prex, known as @geekymagenta on Twitter, is kinky, poly, passionate about public health sex educator and sex positive advocate, and is occasionally prone to swear words and laughter.

Tune into their podcast each week to hear stories about love and sex from guests living their dreams in a diverse sampling of all the possibilities for consensual adult relationships. Join them while they geek out about displays of relationships in different media, including shows from diverse fandoms, board games, and video games, and as they tell you...

"Don't Panic"

 

 

There are so many ways to relate, don’t panic about it! Join swinger Magenta and inquisitive Shaina podcasting from bed on sex, love, and geekery.

This week we interview Ya el. We discuss her journey into converting to Judaism and how it’s affected her love life. In addition, we learn her interesting past with Magenta, what it’s like to work in the tech field as a woman, and get into some heated discussion near the end.

Bring your towel!

Direct download: dontpanicpodcast003.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:32pm CDT

This isn't a regular episode. Dylan grabs the mic and takes over for a monologue on stress, thinking about being closeted, and intersectionality. In between all that Morgan tells us her origin story and tells how Swinging is her stress relief.

You can read more about Mississippi's HB1523 on NPR, here.

This really sums it up:

"the Mississippi legislation protects only three beliefs or convictions: that marriage is between a man and a woman, that sex is "properly reserved to such a marriage," and that words like "male" and "female" are "objectively determined by anatomy and genetics at birth."

 

You can Choose Your Own Adventure with Ginger, Dylan, and Cooper during our first ever Resort Takeover!

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

We featured three tracks on today's episode.

Direct - Scars (feat. Devin Santi)

Direct - Parallax

Puppet - Vagrant

 

Direct download: swingset247.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

Often our discussion of swinging travels down the traditional "norms" of the subculture, a couple, a man and woman, having sex with other couples. But we all know that any subculture is full of iteration after iteration of variance. Tonight we're going to talk about one of the oft overlooked swinging groups, lesbians. And as we're definitely not qualified to speak on the subject, we've brought two amazing women, Tiff & Rachel, hosts of the Sapphic Swingers podcast to have this discussion with us.

You can find the Sapphic Swingers on twitter @sapphicswingers and their podcast at http://sapphicswingers.blogspot.com/

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by supporting us on Patreon to throw us a buck or two for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to toss us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Tonight's episode featured Sadbot by PIXLWarhead by Muzzy & DroptekWaiting For You (feat. Joanna Jones) by Unlike Pluto

Direct download: swingset246.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:23am CDT

Abuse isn't discussed the same way we discuss other issues in our communities. Otherwise well meaning people sometimes end up working to silence victims of abuse when they need community support the most. People in groups tend to respond poorly when someone or something threatens the group dynamic and often, victims take the brunt of that response. With forethought, preparation, and a commitment to support people who speak out, communities can work through and survive abuse.

You can find Ginny Brown on twitter @lirelyn, on Everyday Feminism, and at The Brunette's Blog.

You can find Pepper Mint on Twitter @freaksexual and at www.freaksexual.com. Y

ou can Choose Your Own Adventure with Ginger, Dylan, and Cooper during our first ever Resort Takeover!

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

We opened our episode with a track from Haywyre's Two Fold Pt. 2 Album - Transient and followed it with another track, Restraint. We also featured Puppet - Vagrant, off the Soft Spoken EP, and we closed with Direct's track - Scars (feat. Devin Santi) off the Wanna Know You EP.

 

Direct download: swingset245.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

Sometimes it feels great to be really and truly degraded. The humiliation expansion pack for BDSM draws curiosity, ire, and extreme excitement from the world. Another stop, on that same train line is cuckolding, an act that many still try to make an insult, but may unambiguously show someone at once totally comfortable with their relationship, or working through past issues. Or, of course, just enjoying the fuck out of each other, and others. Tonight we're joined by Kali, creator of Kink Academy and Author of 'Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation' to discuss cuckolding and humiliation play, on Life on the Swingset The Podcast

Direct download: swingset244.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 10:47am CDT

Katie Mack and Ginger Bentham are ready to #femmespread like you've never seen before. Talking honestly and earnestly about their experiences as women, Katie and Ginger get unapologetically bitchy. They share their uncensored and unfettered voices on topics like privilege, female socialization, male entitlement, rape culture, consent, and the true experience of owning your power. With humor, stories, and bonding over the pay gap, Katie and Ginger wind down with their list of demands from the men of the world...no more and no less. Brace yourself. It's the Bitchcast.

 

- Ginger Bentham

Katie Mack and Ginger Quotable - Episode 243 - The BitchcastKatie Mack Quotable - Men in My Life - Episode 243 - Bitchcast

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

The Bitchcast. featured Karma Fields - Scandal, featuring C.C. Sheffield, off the new album New Age | Dark Age.

 

Direct download: swingset243.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:20am CDT

Six years ago, Cooper, Dylan and two other panelists blustered through far too long of an intro and a horrible title and made a thoroughly mediocre hour of podcasting. When we started this thing called the Swingset, we thought we'd do it for a little while and that would be it. Maybe we would inform, and maybe we would get laid. Little did we know that it would introduce us to wonderful people like Ginger, and Shira, and Miko, Cooper would meet his amazing partner Ophilia, We'd take amazing sexy vacations to mexico every November. To look back over the expanse of six years is rather mind boggling. 

 

We took time at the end of the episode to answer a question from a listener.

"Not a question really, more of a comment. "Why aren't there more sites like this where orthodoxy isn't religiously enforced and divergent opinions can be voiced?" Too many relationship sites are really quite intolerant.." - Bill

Peoples' experiences matter. We realized early on that we were swinging a little different than swingers were supposed to swing. It's about giving people a place that they can go to and feel like, hey there are other people that have the same experiences that I can go to and communicate with, that's what community is, and if you're not finding what you need or what from a community than go build your own, and we god-damn-diddly did that. That doesn't mean that we're exclusive, it doesn't mean we're splitting a community, it just means that we're giving people that are doing the same things or find what we're doing attractive a place where they can talk about it and listen to other people doing it, and do it. That goes across the board across any kind of sexuality, any kind of sexual identity, any way of practicing this or any other lifestyle. It all has value. The fact that we know it all exists is valuable to us. Even knowing that other ways of practicing swinging or polyamory or kink are out there, that's valuable. You don't have to practice it, you don't have to agree with it, you don't even have to acknowledge it's valid, but just being exposed to it is good enough. Most people who are afraid of what they don't understand are afraid of it because they don't understand it, because they don't see people practicing it normally. We as swingers can go out and interface with all sorts of people and not be scary dude until they realize were swingers, then when they realize we're swingers and realize they aren't scared it's because we're normal people. We're not trying to blow up their marrages, it's ok. The best way we can be an ambassadors for swinging is by being that normal fucking people and by saying hey, this isn't scary, it's ok. If we're fighting amongst each other for the mantle for the most pure swinger or best fucking swinger or old fucking swinger or progressive swinger than it all doesn't matter because then we're just fighting with each other and everybody says they're all just fucking swingers. We live in a very polarized world and it doesn't matter who got us there, it matters that we don't have to contribute to that polarization. Diddly.

This is the work that we build our idea of nonmonogamy on... we don't exclude other people based on what they believe. We all want to express our sexuality, our love, our kink, without shame or persecution.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more! You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%! We featured seven songs off of Nigel Good's Space Cadet LP:

We also made Muzzy & Droptek's track Warhead our official POLITICS AHEAD music!

Direct download: swingset242.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 5:19pm CDT

Hey fellow men... Dylan here. I want to take a moment to express a little sympathy. It can be incredibly hard out there to be a man. We're living in an age inspired by the speed of the internet. Our goalposts of acceptability and common respectability on social issues and on how we relate to others in the world change what seems like weekly at times. Our perception of our gender as a responsibility hasn't kept up with the evolution of gender as identity and of sexuality as more fluid than we were ever told was possible.

We are being forced to resolve the changes in the world with what we think of as our masculine role, equality means a shift in power, equity means a shift in resources, and the things we've always been taught to be afraid of are popping up all around us.

It doesn't mean we have to be dicks about all of it.

 

So.

Coop and I spent the last hour talking a lot about how women experience harassment and navigate rape culture and I'm 100% conscious about how a couple of dudes talking about women can come off... but out of 241 episodes... I thought we could take a little time to sit down with our fellow men and level.

 
Women largely get ignored by men and it sucks. Nothing Cooper and I said should be eye-popping or a surprise but... I guarantee we might have turned a few of your heads or noses while we chatted, gender notwithstanding and I'm hoping that some of that coming from us might make it more likely for some of you to help others listen to women.
 
The women of the Swingset are putting together an episode (or two) to discuss topics from this episode... and probably point out how a couple dudes talking about women's experiences got it wrong. That's ok, we'll own that. Until that comes out I wanted to put a spotlight on a few people.
 
Writer and Filmmaker De La Fro posted an article titled "No, You Are Not a Nice Guy" that really disassembles the male entitlement / transactional nature of what some guys call "being a nice guy"
 
There are some damn wonderful people on everydayfeminism.com and I found a three minute spoken word piece by contributor Desiree Dallagiacomo and Mwende Katwiwa aka: FreeQuency titled "American Rape Culture" that illustrates just how insidious the language of rape culture has been in popular music.
 
Our own Crista Anne, our rainbow-colored pleasure revolutionary, through her mission to reclaim her orgasms ended up enduring an intense and sustained amount of harassment for daring to speak loudly and unapologetically. She writes about that harassment at cristaanne.com/harassment.
 
Ella Dawson has dared to write and speak about her experiences navigating sexuality with herpes and how as a result of that she's also endured sustained harassment. She posted an article, "Everything 2015 Taught Me About Harassment" that really puts a fine point on it.
 
We spend a lot of time on the Swingset breaking out our experiences so you can learn from the journey. We aren't filtering what we're going through and neither are these women and there's value in it. They're unapologetic, they're strong, they deserve to be listened to. That they're speaking uncomfortable truths and they're laying the raw filth of mysogyny out for all of us to see. It doesn't make it complaining... it makes it necessary
 
You know you can always write us at contact@lifeontheswingset.com and leave us a voicemail at 573-55-swing, that's 573-557-9464.

We introduced today's fireside man-chat with Varien - Seduction.

Direct download: swingset241.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

As a well known hypochondriac and germophobe who'd just as soon wrap his entire body in the Titan Full Body Condoms from The Naked Gun if only they sold them at The Lucky Bloke, It's no surprise that Cooper thinks a lot about eroticizing safer sex. Thinking about it, talking about it, trying really hard to do it, it’s all there. On Swingset’s 2015 desire trip, Cooper sat next to The Doctor, no, not THAT Doctor, though he did feel an urge to let this sexy man take him on adventures. They knew too much about STIs and often scared themselves silly.

You can find The Doctor on twitter @Sexxypixie. Rawr.

Cooper mentioned the Sex MythBusters’ video, Sex Myth #2: The Oral Sex Aficionado.

Today’s episode featured Haywyre’s tracks, Moment, Dichotomy (Soft Mix), and The Schism, off of his Two Fold Pt. 1 and Two Fold Pt. 2 albums. We also continued to use Stephen Walking - Claptrap because… well it’s everywhere we want it to be. Like Uberlube.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

You can Cooper’s novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Direct download: swingset240.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:00am CDT

Ginger sits down with Cooper for a one-on-one discussion of his new novel about swinging A Life Less Monogamous, recorded just days before the book launch. After they chat for a while, Cooper shares the first two chapters of the novel's upcoming audiobook version narrated by himself and Kat Stark.

You can buy the book now RIGHT HERE at ALifeLessMonogamous.com - use promo code SWINGSET at checkout to save 10%!

The Novel's Synopsis:

We all come to a point in our lives where we finally ask the ever-looming question, “Is this all there is?” And most of us coast along afterwards, just accepting that the answer to that question is probably, “Yes, this is it.” Sometimes, though, we’re lucky. Sometimes we run into the right people at the right time.

Ryan and Jennifer are at that point in their marriage, asking that question. Luckily, tonight at a friend’s holiday party, they’re about to run into those very right people at exactly the right time. Bruce and Paige have successfully crossed the Rubicon into the realm of “what else there is.” They’ve discovered delights and a way of living that Ryan and Jennifer have only ever dreamed about.

Their secret? Bruce and Paige are swingers. And very soon now, thanks to a chance meeting and a new friendship, Ryan and Jennifer will close their eyes, clasp hands, and jump into the deep end of life, exploring the untold wonders of sexuality. Hedonistic pleasures that they can’t even fathom yet, threesomes and sex parties and a deep connection with friends and with each other. The swinging lifestyle.

Today is the day they proclaim: “There is more.” Today is the day they change their lives. 

Give us a call and leave a voicemail at 573-55-SWING, (573-557-9464), we want your stories, your orgasms, your everything!

Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out!

Comments? Complaints? Comment on this post or join us on Facebook.com/theswingset and let us know what you think.

Direct download: ss239ret.mp3
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:00am CDT

One finger, two finger, three finger, four...sometimes even that's not enough and you need to go the full five. To fisting! Huzzah! Tonight we're joined by the amazing Andre Shakti to talk about fisting, best practices, intensity, and what it's like to have a full hand inside you.

You can find Andre Shakti at andreshaktixxx.com and on twitter @AndreShakti.

Andre mentioned Sassy by Sliquid water based anal gel lubricant and Swiss Navy Silicon lubricant.

This episode we featured Sock Puppet by Sticky Biscuits! They have a new song out, Ungooglable You!

We also featured Volant - Full Circle in our intro, Stephen Walking - Claptrap during our between commercial outtakes, and Haywyre - Do You Don’t You in our outro and after episode outtakes.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

Buy "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook at mylifeontheswingset.com and pre-order my novel A Life Less Monogamous and save 25% on the ebook or paperback at alifelessmonogamous.com!

Want to attend InfinityCon in Atlanta, GA from February 4th-7th 2016 to learn skills for navigating non-monogamy challenges, and to better connect with loves and liked minded people? Visit InfinityCon.net and tweet at #InfinityCon!

Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out!

Direct download: swingset238.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

We discovered tonight's guest Andre Shakti after seeing her in the wonderful adult film Marriage 2.0, naturally smitten, we followed that internet rabbit hole down and discovered her site and the other work she's done. We immediately wanted to have her on the Swingset to talk about a subject we've talked around but never directly about, live porn and web camming, and as it's arguably the thing that has changed porn most over the last decade.


This Episode brought to you by traumatic near tragedy in Toy Story 3 and Windows 10. Windows 10, the operating system that won't allow you to choose what version of skype to use. every. thanks Windows 10.

 

 

You can find Andre Shakti on Twitter @andreshakti and at andreshaktixxx.com! Andre is performing with Daisy Ducati at Little Darlings in San Francisco on Saturday, February 6th, 2016. Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more! We featured four tracks in this episode; our Welcome to 2016 exposition features Puppet & Cormak - Enough Is Enough (feat. Richard Caddock). Our episode introduction features TwoThirds - Breathe. Our "while we were on commerical bloopers" chat featured Stephen Walking - Claptrap. Our outro features Tristan & Braken - Far Away. Our after episode outtakes feature TwoThirds - Waking Dreams (feat. Laura Brehm). Buy "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook at mylifeontheswingset.com and pre-order my novel A Life Less Monogamous and save 25% on the ebook or paperback at alifelessmonogamous.com! Want to attend InfinityCon in Atlanta, GA from February 4th-7th 2016 to learn skills for navigating non-monogamy challenges, and to better connect with loves and liked minded people? Visit InfinityCon.net and tweet at #InfinityCon! Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out!

Direct download: swingset237.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:30am CDT

We here on the swingset have a lot of sex. #explanabrag. We've spoken at length about how casual that sex may actually be, and that definition has changed over the years for many of us. Tonight on Life on the Swingset the podcast we're talking about what casual sex means to us, and debate whether it can cross over into something resembling TOO casual.

Support Life on the Swingset by buying a shirt, buying condoms, leaving us a review on iTunes or Stitcher, or by leaving us a tip! You can leave us a tip for every episode we release, including some special rewards for those willing to tip us just a little more!

We featured four tracks in this episode; our Welcome to 2016 exposition featured Puppet & Cormak - Enough Is Enough (feat. Richard Caddock). Our episode introduction featured Muzzy - Letz Rock. Our "while we were on commerical bloopers" chat featured Muzzy & Roniit - Pegasus, both from the Letz Rock EP. Our episode outro and redacted content featured Pegboard Nerds - Emoji ($unday $ervice Remix), available on the Pink Cloud (The Remixes) album.

Buy "My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory" as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook at mylifeontheswingset.com and pre-order my novel A Life Less Monogamous and save 25% on the ebook or paperback at alifelessmonogamous.com!

Want to attend InfinityCon in Atlanta, GA from February 4th-7th 2016 to learn skills for navigating non-monogamy challenges, and to better connect with loves and liked minded people? Visit InfinityCon.net and tweet at #InfinityCon!

Interested in signing up for our favorite Lifestyle site Kasidie.com? Click here to try it out!

Direct download: swingset236v2.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:00am CDT

For our first episode of 2016 we return to the mailbag for another listener question gang bang. We talk about seeking a well endowed man for an MFM threesome, who should pay for the hotel, swinging vs poly, should you warn before ejaulating from a blowjob, newbies and being left out, and toys that'll work for a gspot and prostate in pegging. Questions have been edited for time and clarity. If you have a question for The Swingset, please call 573-55 SWING that's 573-557-9464 to leave your voicemail for an upcoming mailbag episode!

Toys mentioned during tonight's episode: The Fuze Tango dual dildo, and the RodeOH Harness.

Direct download: swingset235.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 8:19pm CDT

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