Life on the Swingset - The Swinging & Polyamory Podcast

September 2017
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Mon, 25 September 2017

SS 301: Gang Bang the Mailbag 34 - Inquiring Swingers Want to Know

Tonight, Madam Fierce joins the Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, and Dylan to re-open the mailbag once again to give it the gang bang it deserves. The crew answers questions on the difference between swinging and polyamory, breaking up with another swing couple, swinging with too much enthusiasm, single male swingers, and first time swinging hiccups.

Question 1:

Hi guys, this is to all of you, though maybe first to Dylan, who seems to particularly enjoy contemplating these things.

I have been been listening to your podcasts since 2011, and have enjoyed the entire run.

What I have been struggling with intellectually is what differentiates swinging from polyamory. My wife and I have recently had acouples' experience which I think has cleared this up, at least for me. I am the introspective one in the relationship (she tends act quickly based on gut feelings of comfort, and chuckles at my additional ruminating), so this is really from the Mr.

We've been pretty successful with swinging / casual hookups, though Two things have happened recently that have changed things a bit.

First, my wife has maintained an online friendship with a single man since last spring, which I whole heartedly support, she's making plans to see him soon.

Secondly, we recently met a couple where I quickly developed a strong emotional connection with the wife. My wife has enjoyed the husband's company, but clearly isn't interested in anything more than casual. My wife supports my exploring this.

So, then, how to define what it is that we seem to be getting into? We areboth (probably) trying out hall passes, meeting folks one on one before the other has met them, and acknowledging at least one developing emotional connection with someone outside our relationship.

Question 2:

I was hoping you could give my wife and I some advice. My wife and I had talked about swinging for about a year before we actually met and played with our first couple. They checked so many of our boxes for a first encounter that we felt very fortunate to have met them.

The first time happened and was a reasonably good time. Not great by any means, but we didn't have any regrets as we popped our cherrys so to speak and we're both giddy for a month after. We discussed the apparent compatibility issues right away.

We decided to take another crack at the full swap with the same couple a month or so later to rule out nervousness. The second encounter allowed us another opportunity to hone in on the things that both did and didn't work for us. We had all but decided that this couple wasn't a compatible fit for us and although round 2 was better, we were still too far away from what we wanted.

Unfortunately, we went in for a third time, because we are slutty and it was easy to do.

Now the question:
How do you break up with a couple?

Question 3:

I'm a 39-yr old woman & new to all of this although I've been very much wanting to explore my bisexual & naughty sides for quite some time…, got a new boyfriend, he's 32, bisexual & we've been together for 1 month, already practically living together & saying the "L" word.

He's experienced in the swinging lifestyle (although it's been awhile) & is thrilled that I'm wanting/willing to try some new things with him. We've made a couples profile on 3 different sites & had 1 threesome already.

The problem is, I'm wanting to take it slow when it comes to women & couples ~ need to find the right person that I feel comfortable with and trust (to kinda get me past that nervousness hump) & he's all gung-ho about meeting people ASAP & making things happen, to the point of fiendish obsession (from my point of view, anyway). He's constantly on swinger sites, viewing profiles, suggesting potential action to me, and I'm rather picky, especially if I finally break into girl-on-girl play.

It's made me feel insecure, especially now that he's done most of the negotiation and now has started deleting messages, so I said something about it. We talked, he agreed he was moving too fast, but now I fear that I'm being petty.

Is this venture between him & I doomed? I'm not 100% sure what my boundaries are and I know I can't be the only woman on the planet to have unwelcome territorial feelings & insecurities crop up when first starting out.

How can I overcome that? I really want to do this, and I want to do it with this man.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Question 4:

Hi Swingset, love your Swinging for Beginning series and hope to hear more in the future.

My wife and I tried NonMonogamy. It went great for her, it was disasterous for me. We made some mistakes that culminated in us ending up in an unintentional cuckold arrangement.

I'm faced with moving through the swinger community as a single male and I'm not sure how. Single female swingers are few and far between and single men are plentiful and often faced with limited or expensive access to clubs and other spaces. The swinger community is pretty anti-single male, I have no clue how to survive being one. I'm segregated from the community I want to be a part of and I don't how how to proceed. Help!

Question 5:

We had our first experience at an on premise party last weekend. Our rules going in were no penetration, whatever we do it's together - constant touching of each other and at the first sign of discomfort we bail and regroup. The biggest insecurities both had was getting into a situation and being ignored.

Unfortunately, the hubby drank way too much! We met a nice couple we were both comfortable with and stuck a pin in them for later, we then met another couple we liked and took the action upstairs. We started playing together but the my hubby seemed disconneted. The original couple came upstairs and my hubby went off with the wife. The rest of the night we moved independently, hubby with other women, me with other men and women.

The party ended, we went back to our rooms and ended up with more activity in which I felt ignored. My hubby's been apologizing ever since, he feels horrible and can't explain his actions. I feel like I should have ended things the first moment I felt ignored but I didn't. We're both confused and aren't sure how to proceed. Should we go out again but watch the drinking? Should we both be more free to speak up?

Join Cooper and Dylan as they host a class on Bacchanalia Basics at the Tool Shed in Milwaukee, WI on September 29th at 8:30PM!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

Help support Life on the Swingset continue to make podcasts, and put on live panels and shows into the future! Throw us a dollar (or a few) each time we release an episode on Patreon! Your support will also get you invited to a private chat system with other Swingsetters, and give you the opportunity to join live podcast recordings.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

You can now pre-order Cooper's novel Approaching The Swingularity, his previous novel A Life Less Monogamous, or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook. Use promo code SWINGSET at coopersbeckett.com to save 10%.

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Intro Music: Stonebank - By Your Side (feat. EMEL)
Business Music: Muzzy - Children of Hell
Madam Fierce's Music: Duumu - For Her
Mike Joseph's Music: Falcon Funk - Catnip Trip (Perkulat0r Remix)
Outro Music: INTERCOM - Decoy World (feat. Park Avenue)

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Dylan Thomas

Mike Joseph

Dirty Lola

Direct download: swingset301.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:59pm CDT

Wed, 13 September 2017

SS 300.1: Post 300th Episode Orgasm Nap

Hello Swingset Fans!

We're taking a short break, episode 300 took an immense amount of effort to prepare: From recording -actually live- with an almost hundred person audience to publishing it via an audio and video podcast, to normal scheduling shenanigans... we think it's well deserved.

Cooper's going to take a short break from the Swingset, he deserves it, so we've manned the Swingset Battle Bridge, separated the saucer section, and made plans for the rest of the crew to carry on in the last hostile takeover of the Swingset ever.

While we'll look forward to his return, we've also released a little piece of Swingset history: a transcript of our first episode from 2010 titled "Dipping a Toe In - How to Start Swinging". You can find it at lifeontheswingset.com, just ... be gentle, we'd like to think we've grown since then.

In the meantime, thanks for swinging by, and see you next week.

Music:

"Studio" Steve Wallace's -Air Man, off the Mega Man 2 album.

Licensed under (CC BY-ND 3.0).

Direct download: 300.1.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 6:08pm CDT

Wed, 6 September 2017

SS 300: Live, atop Mt. Swingset at the Ski Chalet!

Life on the Swingset gets back together at the ski chalet, high atop Mt. Swingset, except it's August and the air conditioning is on. The chair lifts aren't active so Ginger, Mike Joseph, Dirty Lola, Chris Pent , Cooper S. Beckett, Dylan Thomas, Dr. Liz Powell, and Katie Mack had to make their way up the old fashioned way, hand over hand. It's a special day, Life on the Swingset celebrates its 300th episode and does so with a live studio internet audience! Make sure you use #ss300 along with #sspodcast and tweet along as you listen!

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Rachel Lark joined us for our 300th episode with music from two of her albums !

Off the Vagenius album:

You Only Live Once (The Asshole Song)

Off the They've Done Studies album:

Outro Music: Puppet - Scribble (feat. The Eden Project)

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Cooper S Beckett

Dr. Liz Powell

Direct download: swingset300.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 7:54pm CDT

Sun, 3 September 2017

SS 299: Foreplay and Changing Ideas of Sex

When people think of sex, they generally assume there's penile penetration, probably into a vagina, and that everything leading up to that penetration is foreplay. It's a very narrow view, but it's a view that stubbornly persists into non-monogamy.

Tonight, on our #roadto300, we consider this episode on foreplay as foreplay. Dirty Lola, Dr. Liz Powell, Dylan Thomas, and Cooper S. Beckett get together to discuss foreplay and redefinition of what constitutes sex.

You can support us while you buy great sex toys and products from our favorite online retailer SheVibe at lifeontheswingset.com/shevibe.

The best FREE thing you can do to support us is leave us a five-star review. Come to our review gateway, then copy and paste your review into iTunes or Stitcher!

Android Users: Download and review our Android App!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464).

Help Dylan edit by buying him something from his Amazon Wishlist!

Intro Music: Rameses B - Play To Win (feat. Holly Drummond)
Outro Music: Koven & Crystal Skies - You Me And Gravity
Business Music: Muzzy - Children of Hell
Dr. Liz Powell's Music: Hold On (feat. Q'AILA)

Our 2017 THEME comes courtesy of Vlad Lucan and his track: Reverse!

Cooper S Beckett

Dylan Thomas

Dr. Liz Powell

Dirty Lola

Direct download: swingset299.mp3
Category:Swingset -- posted at: 1:50pm CDT